Here recently, I've been listening to a lot of music, and when I say a lot I mean A LOT of music. Music is, and always has been, my life. It's what gets me creative, what helps me escape, and what helps me cope.
Life has thrown many curve balls and sucker punches my way, and has left me in times where nothing made sense, I became hurt and alone, and I felt down and out.
Today I'm creating a top ten list of songs that have helped me get through rough times and helped shape things in my life such as dreams, goals, faith, and character.
This was a really hard list to make, and this list very well could change in time, but for now this is the top ten songs for me and why they make the list. So without further ado, let's get to it!
#10
"Apologize" by One Republic
When I hear this song, there's a word that comes to mind to describe it, and that word is "timeless." For the fact that this is considered a Top 40 song, One Republic somehow managed to do something that very few artists have been able to accomplish: Create a song that is still relevant, still captivating, still beautiful, and still played on the radio well over 6 years since it's release. "Apologize" is one of those songs that if you picture a romantic scenario that looks like it's about to hit a breaking point, this song could play flawlessly with it. Seriously, anything from way back in the day to in the robotic, sci-fi future that we may or may not ever have, and everything in between. Add to the fact that Timbaland took these guys into his studio and added a nice little instrumental remix to the vocals and you've got two versions of this song that both hold quite a bit of weight. This song makes the list because I've had moments where the song relates perfectly to where I was in relationships with friends and family that got really tough. Times where the pain became too much and where I didn't know what to do or what to say. Times when I fought hard for the people in my life. Times where I had to deal with rejection. This song would've made it higher on the list, but there are a few others that deserve the higher spots. Here's number 9.
#9
"Jesus Muzik" by Lecrae ft Trip Lee
"Ridin' with my top down listen to this Jesus muzik!"
When I first heard the intro to this song I had no idea just how much of an impact those words were going to have on my life. I had no idea that this song was going to dramatically shift how I handled writing words of poetry and of rap. I had no idea that this song was going to be the song that really paved the way to where I am now with my dream and goal of being a rapper/musician. I don't know why, but it feels like this was the song that caught a lot of peoples attention and caused a lot even more people to realize they have the same dream as I do. This was the first Christian Rap song I ever heard and needless to say, I was instantly hooked. Shoot, I remember I walked almost an hour to an entertainment store with my walkman just to pick up the album this song is off of "After The Music Stops." This album had a lot of great songs on it, a couple that almost made the list ("Prayin' For You," "Send Me," and "El Shaddai feat Cam"), but ultimately, this song was the one that held the most weight and was what came in at #9. I really don't know what else to say about this song other than the fact that the music video for this song was bangin dope. Man, 2006 had some great music. Moving on
#8
"Bring Me To Life"/"My Immortal" by Evanescence
So, this one ended up being a tie, but I'm allowing it because it's from the same band and the same album, but these two songs are songs that I have listened to for over 10 years, and to this day they still offer me something new and refreshing each and every time I listen to them. I put them together because when I do listen to them, I will always listen to them back-to-back. I'll be honest, I tend to have hero complex where I want to save people that I care deeply about from the problems they're facing, and, unless I have some sort of super power that's been laying dormant all my life, I probably will never be able to save them. On the other side of the coin, I also have the desire to want to be saved by someone (I mean, yeah Jesus, but also from someone else as well). I want to be rescued. There are, and have been, to many times where I feel trapped. Where I feel like I need someone to come get me out of the ruts and pits of life. And, for the most part, that's never been something that's happened. At least until recently. but I'll save that for a different post. All in all though, these two songs are songs that I can go and escape reality for a while and imagine what I wish I could do to help those that I wish I could help. Before moving on to #7, one quick thing...
Bonus
"Broken" by Seether & Amy Lee
As a musician, this is just one of many songs on my "To Cover Bucket List" and for good reason. Though this isn't my number 1 song, it is a song I hold very near and dear to my heart. It's a song that I fell in love with when I started listening to it again after so many years and it started becoming relevant to what was going on in my life. I don't want to go into too many details about why I love this song so much, but if you pay attention to the lyrics you can get a pretty good idea. When I do get around to covering this in the next 10 years, I also have a sick idea for a music video to go with it, but that's neither here nor there. Moving on
#7
"The End Of Heartache" by Killswitch Engage
So, I'll be honest. This is literally the only song by Killswitch Engage that I know, but you know what, I'm so glad I do. This is another one of those songs that play into my hero complex thing. Really though, it's just a great pump you up-er. I enjoy listening to it when I'm feeling down or when things get rough. It gives me resolve, it gives me courage, and it gives me the strength to keep pressing on no matter what obstacle I might have in front of me. Plus, it's got some pretty B.A. guitar riffs in it, and who doesn't like a nice, heavy riff every now and then?
#6
"The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars
Only recently have I begun getting into the punk/rock/emo genres and subgenres (mostly in thanks to Guitar Hero), but "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars plays in my mind a little differently than I think the band intended. Now, I have no idea if 30 Seconds to Mars is a Christian band or has Christian influences, and honestly, I don't really want to research it right now, but when I listen to this song, I like to imagine inside a church and someone about to get baptized. The song plays through the ritual (I guess I'll use that word, I don't really like it though), and in the church you have a congregation sitting in the pews watching while you have Jesus on one side of the sanctuary and Lucifer on the other. The song, in my mind, is in the perspective of the person being baptized and sung in a confrontational way towards to Lucifer, while some parts are sung towards Jesus. I put this song on the list, because it helps give me a different perspective on my own baptism and my own faith.
#5
"Scars" by Papa Roach
Though I don't relate word for word to this song, the main ideas and points this song presents are very relating to me. Just like "Broken" if you just listen to the lyrics you can have a pretty clear idea why this song is on this list. This is one of those songs that's going to take me a while to not affect me in a way that brings back painful memories, but that's just fine. If it didn't affect me, it wouldn't make this list. So yeah, listen to it and you'll understand why.
#4
"Move Along"/"It Ends Tonight" by The All-American Rejects
Here's another one that tied, and it tied for pretty much the same reasons as the last tie, save for this time it's more because these are songs I listen to to help me gradually let go and move on from some of the more severe pains and hurts I've taken in life. I know I still have a long way to go on my road to healing and recovery and these two songs are going to be there with me along the way, and though they may not be songs created for the purpose of faith, you would be pretty oblivious to say that they don't have underlying faith themes. Though I wouldn't call them timeless or epic, they are great songs that always give nice breath of fresh air whenever I'm hung up on things that I need to start putting behind me and letting them be what they are: memories.
#3
"Say Something" A Great Big World/Pentatonix
If you've ever listened to this song from either the original or Pentatonix's epic cover and didn't shed a tear, I very well may question your level of humanity. Everything about this song screams remembrance of pain and hurt, and one of those songs where I feel like it's okay to be very universal. A lot of people give pop songs like this one flak for being vague and general, but I think that it's ok. This is a song that I think hits every individual on a different level For me, this song is another song to help me begin to move on from past pain I've felt. It's allowed me to go to my mind and picture the person(s) that have hurt me and say "You've hurt me. I love you, but now I need to let you go and move on with my life. I will always care about you and I'm always here if you need my help, but I won't continue to hold on to this pain." This song never fails to bring a tear to my eye, and sometimes it never fails to let that tear fall.
#2
"Everything" by Lifehouse
I remember first hearing this song presented as a worship song at my last church, and then I heard it play during an episode of "Smallville." Then I finally got around to just listening to it on it's own. I recall a summer about 3 years ago I think, where I had never felt so lonely in my life. I'm fairly sure that I was about to go crazy and I know I was close to doing things to myself that I could go without admitting to. I was scared and alone. I had no one to spend time with and there were days that summer where I would go days on end with no human contact. During those times, I played this song and it really helped keep me sane, and helped me keep my faith. Though this song doesn't hold the same weight that it did those several summers ago, it's a song I tend to go back to during those times when I feel alone, when I'm scared, and when I'm lacking faith in God. It's a huge reminder that this world isn't my home and my #1 goal and dream is that when I pass from this life and stand before God, I can hear him say "Welcome home" and "Good job, my good and faithful servant." Not for the rewards of robes, crowns, or mansions in heaven. No, I don't care about any of that. All I want is to just be in God's presence. To just feel his embrace and his love for eternity. That's why I love this song, because I tend to forget that is my biggest goal, especially when I get caught up with the things of this world. Now finally....
#1
"Sanctuary" by Utada Hikaru
Remember the first day you had a copy of Kingdom Hearts II in your hand and you popped that disc into your PS2, you clicked New Game and this beauty started playing? Do you remember the chill that went down your spine? I do. This song is one of the only songs I can think of where I would literally have it on repeat for 24 hours straight and not be bored with it. I would sleep to this song, think to this song, work out to this song. Shoot, someone even took it and made a hip hop beat out of it and now I'm writing rap verses to this song. I love this song so much that I try to listen to it at least once a day if not more. I also take this song and imagine a scene while it plays. I'll lay out the scene and then explain why I imagine it. Here we go: Imagine you're on a beach. White sand and a calm sea. You stand there looking down the beach and you see a hood and robed figure standing in front of you. He pulls out a sword (I personally picture a lightsaber, just because I'm a huge SW fan, but take your pick) and you notice that you yourself have a weapon just the same as this figure. You're not sure who this person is, but you have this sense that this is a fight you can't escape from. The two of you clash swords, you continue fighting, things get intense. This person is strong, very strong. You begin to lose your resolve. You continue swinging and pushing forward and going and going and then finally....you give the finishing blow. You see the hooded figure drop down and see the hood come off to reveal....you. A dark, twisted version of yourself. You look at yourself, and you see that you've now killed this version of you. When this sets in you drop to your knees and feel relief, you feel content knowing that you lived and defeated this version of you that attacked you, but you also have a feeling of great sadness. You come to realize that a part of you just died. You feel the hurt of knowing this, but you still feel relieved that you survived and you continue on. This is how I feel everytime I imagine this scene when I listen to this song. Why do I imagine and feel all these things? Well, it's because I use this song to continually put to death the old me as it says to do in scripture. I use this song to always kill the desires of my flesh and the negative and bad I hold onto that brings me down. I use this song to remind myself that as I continue to walk in this faith in Christ, I am going to have this battle everyday in my mind. And somedays the scene looks different from what I pictured above, but nonetheless, it's somethinng that must happen everyday, and if I'm going to have this battle everyday, I might as well have an anthem to play as I go through it.
Till next time
Richie The Rapper
