When Sorrow Turns To Joy

The book of Job has always had a huge influence on me. That's the book in the Bible that I've compared my life story to the most. Now I'm not going to lie, I just Google searched this picture, but I found it on perfect timing.

Prior to writing this post, I had spent the last 15 minutes just spending time in very intimate worship with Christ. I had only listened to 2 songs ("Fire Fall Down" and "Lead Me To The Cross" by Hillsong), but they were enough to truly bring me into worship and communion with the Lord. Now let me explain what brought me into worship this afternoon, because it just wasn't because.

Before I listened to those two songs, I had sinned. The nature of the sin doesn't need to be shared, just known that I had sinned. I had fought the sin the previous night and actually won, yet for some reason, I couldn't this afternoon. I have no idea why. I might never know, but the fact is that I really feel that God used that sin to make me think and realize a few things. I had opened up biblegateway.com earlier. When I returned to it I was in the book of Psalms. The other day I had stumbled onto Psalms 51. Little did I realize just how important that chapter was going to be in my relationship with Christ. So I looked that chapter up and the verses that really had caught my attention more than any of them was verses 15-17 which says "Help me to speak, and I will praise you, Lord. Offerings and sacrifices are not what you want. The way to please you is to feel sorrow deep in our hearts. This is the kind of sacrifice you won't refuse." (CEV).

Lately, I've been dealing with a lot more than I would probably care to admit otherwise. I've been having a hardening of heart towards many things. Both inward and outward. I've been having a huge confidence problem. I don't feel strengthened to accomplish the desires of my heart. I've been doubting, I've been angry, sad, and confused. Honestly though that's really just the tip of the iceberg.

I've also been hurt outwardly, from brothers and sisters in Christ. Some who know (or should know) that they hurt me, others who don't. There was an "older brother" in Christ who tried to play himself as holier than thou against me when I called him out on something. I was really really hurt by this dude and have lost every ounce of respect for him. I've also been hurt, or at least have felt hurt, by others within church groups. I've always been accepted by almost any church group I've been a part of, but I don't feel included in a lot of things outside of group activities. I've been facing loneliness. It may be myself entirely or it might just be my pride, but I've been feeling neglected by a lot of people lately. I know people are always busy, but it really has made me feel hurt to know that I don't get included in things.

However, I'm not the type of dude to just straight up talk down on anyone and everyone. That would be wrong of me and be very prideful and arrogant of me. It would also hurt me more in the long run. I still very much love my church fam. In a lot of ways they are really all I have. I know that I'm loved by them and I know they want to help see me succeed just as much as I want to see them do the same. I just kinda wish sometimes I could get more encouragement from time to time.

Now I will say that I do have some problems with modern day Christianity, but I will go into that in a later post. Trust me though, these are problems that the church needs to understand, because they are real and the church in general has become so oblivious to them it's no wonder that we wonder why non believers bash us.

But for now, I'll end off by saying that I'm very humbled that God has been and will continue to be working in me. My chisel season is continuing and I pray that God will use me in the most unexpected ways. For now though, I hope and pray that everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas, and I'm sure I'll put something new back up sometime between Christmas and New Years. Safe travels everyone and God bless

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper

Things On My Mind

There's several things about this picture above that could be interpreted for this blog, but I want you to focus just on the Lego character. What do you see? I'm looking for a specific. Take a guess...

If you guessed that he is by himself, you would have guessed right. That's what I want to talk about with this post. This is something that has been on my heart and mind lately. I've been feeling very alone lately.

Now I know people will tell me that I'm never alone, and to an extent they would be correct. I know that I have Christ, who is always with me. However, even Jesus was around people. The only times that I'm aware of that he was alone was when he went to pray and when he was nailed to the cross. He had his disciples, who he talked to when things were troubling him. He ate with them, hung out with them, etc. Christ was, to a large extent, a people person. I don't think that he was a huge introvert, though he did find his time to be by himself.

I was doing some reminiscing earlier today, and almost got to the point of tears...almost. I feel like I am slowly becoming hard-hearted and not allowing myself to cry, and I'm finding this to become slightly unhealthy for me. As I was thinking back on my past, I realized that I've never had more than a handful of friends at any given point of my life. Throughout certain points, I had less than that. Growing up very sheltered, I was never given the chance to meet people and hang out. Sadly, this has followed me even all the way up to young adulthood. I would be lying if I said I didn't resent it. If there is anything that I'm bitter about it it is that. It has caused me so many problems growing up. It's cut me away from many opportunities, and has influenced my trust issues. The only thing about it that has been positive in anyway is that if I hadn't have had this problem, I may not have come to where I am now. Which I don't regret or resent.

I have found this to be one of my biggest challenges of faith. Ever since I have came to Christ, I've had a "Outside looking in" view on the Church, and needless to say, I've been disappointed one to many times. I've had to learn the hard way not to hold my view of God in people, because that will lead me to much disappointment. Instead, I've been learning (cuz I'm not going to really 100% know until that day) how to really view God. I know that he's love, and I know that he is more. He has anger and he has sadness, but there is so much more to God than any human could ever know, save for Jesus Christ. I know that he knows why I've been feeling so alone better than I do, which is good, cuz I don't have much of a clue as to why.

I've never really liked getting sympathy from people for my misfortunes, and I don't desire it. I very much dislike it when I fall into self-pity (because "hate" is to strong a word there), yet I know I've landed into that so many times. I don't know what is going to happen or what I'm going to do to get out of this feeling. I'm certain people will try to cheer me up, and maybe even try to hang out with me more. Maybe not. Either way, I'm just praying for change with this. I'm training myself not to have the mentality that people owe me something, cuz they don't. I also don't want to think that if someone does notice this and try and cheer me up I don't want to refuse it simply because they've noticed this...if that made sense.

I know I'm never "Forever Alone." I know that, however, that doesn't neglect the fact that this feeling is very real for me. I also know that this is very real for countless other individuals. I can probably think of at least 10 names off the top of my head who are feeling the same way as me who wouldn't talk about it in any way. So I guess, in a way, you could say that I'm bout to advocate for them.

From what I've learned there are several things to help if your feeling alone:

1)Remember, you really aren't alone ever. Regardless if you believe in Him or not, Christ is with you in some way.

2)Don't hold yourself to thinking that social networking and media is going to help solve your problem of loneliness. Trust me on this one, it never will.

3)Don't bring yourself to doing destructive behaviors. Anything from drinking to porn and anything in between.

4)I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Give prayer a shot. Even if you don't believe, prayer works. Maybe not exactly the way you want it to, but it does. Give it a chance to work.

5)Have a positive mindset. Positive thinking creates positive results. Don't let negative talk or thinking consume you. It will destroy your hope in change and you'll be stuck where you are for quite some time.

I hope this helps someone. I'm hoping it helps me. I apologize for not posting in quite some time. I promise I'll try to start posting more regularly if time permits. I still want to get in on the topics from "Man Up." Hope all is well with you all and hope my American readers had a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving.

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper

Learning What It Means To Man Up (Part 1)

How's it goinn all? It's been a minute since I last posted on here. I've been kept busy. Got a job finally, praise God. Been tryin to work on music, chillin with friends, etc, etc. BUT I'm back now, and I wanted to do a post over a topic that, in the Christian Hip Hop scene, has been catching a lot of attention. I'm talking about 11Six Clique's latest contemplation album "Man Up". I went and bought the album + DVD, and I have to say, I was blown away by both. Reach Records has been putting in a lot of work on this and the finished product shows that. Now with that said, I'm not going to spend time telling you about the album or give you any spoilers from the movie (It takes place in the ghetto, there), because I want you to go get it yourself. No, I want to talk about what I got from the movie in specific. I want to talk about what I got from it and how I want to apply it to my life, and your's. There was 6 different topics that were talked about by guys with Reach on a different segment of the DVD. Authority, Responsibility, Envy, Courage, Sexual Temptation, and Repentance. I'm a hit all 6 of em in this blog. I'm going to give my take on each from what I have experienced, from what I have read about each in God's Word, and from what I'm learning after watching this movie. So follow along with me as I go into a subject that a lot of dude's in today's world need to know about. Now I won't be saying that I am a full man. Cuz I'm not. I still have a lot of growing to do, but I have some insight that can help dude's who don't even realize that they really not Men just yet. (That's my legal disclaimer for this blog btw.) I say that jokingly, but in all seriousness, if you read this don't believe what I've typed just cuz I've typed it, but I do ask that you think over it and apply it to your life and think about how you're life is going and see if you are really a "Man" (Sorry ladies, this one's aimed particularly at the guys, however feel free to read so you may relay this to dude's you know who need to know this).

#1: Authority. Something that to a lot dude's gets twisted. Who is authority? Well for us here in the U.S. it's the government. The President, Congress, Military, Judicial, Law Enforcement, etc. A lot of people in America have this "F the Government" mentality, because we notice that they haven't been doing there job to the best of there ability or we might think that they have been doing things for the wrong reasons without the people's best interest at heart. Though in a sense that may be true, we the people need to realize that this is a give and take relationship between us and those in power. I believe that the Government really does want to help our country. I just think that there are some who are in it for the wrong reasons and don't realize that their greed hurts the country. However I do think that the majority of people in Congress and the White House are wanting things to get better, they, just like us, are having to learn. It might take some time, but I think that we need to be patient. Keep in mind that God has everything in control with the U.S.'s situation. He is sovereign. He placed them in charge for reason's we don't fully know of yet. And I am just starting at home, for all my international people, your government's are probably different than our's. Yet I'm sure there are quite a few things that are the same. Here's the basic break down though. Jesus followed the authority that was here on Earth during his life. He didn't go off and retaliate on the solider's who came to arrest him. He didn't get prideful towards authority. He entrusted in the Heavenly Father. He didn't teach for people to riot against the government. He lived his purpose and kept his eyes on the Father, who is the greatest authority. I know in my own personal life I haven't always been a law abiding citizen, but I try to keep my nose clean as well as I can. I've been real good about it, but I still have a few things I could work on. So I'm not excluded when I say that, in America at least, that we need to step up to the plate and be able to let go of our pride in thinking that we know what is best for our country, and be able to put faith in God knowing that He has the people that we call our government in his hands. And if we have a solution, discuss it and share ideas off of people. If you get prideful and think that you know the solution to something, chances are you probably don't know it if you haven't talked about it with others.

I'm breaking this post into a 6 part series for each topic, just because of how late it is for me and I have to work in the morning, but I will come back Friday with Part 2 over Responsibility. Until then keep your heads up, your faith up, and for the dudes, lets Man Up.

Till Next Time

Grace and Blessings

Richie

The 2011 MTV VMA's On Twitter

Alright, so I don't have cable where I'm at, but I got home tonight from a Life Group with Cats 4 Christ to find out that tonight was the MTV Video Music Awards. My initial thought was: "Alright cool...the VMA's. This ought to be good to see what happens." At first that was the case. Then things went from cool to downright insane, at least for my personal Twitter timeline.

Alright, couple things here to start off my reaction to tonight. First things first, I am going to forewarn you reader that anything I say in this blog could offend you. This blog is going to be written solely based off of what I had seen on my timeline. The comments I make are individual to small group aimed only. No generalizing here. K? Cool.

Ok so a vast majority of people I follow on Twitter are somehow affiliated with Christian rap, so I'm just going to get all the real deep religious talk out of the way first. Here's a little tid bit for you that you might find helpful as a future reference: Yes the Illuminati is real. No, they are not why every single artist or band becomes successful and wins awards. Anyone who says that every single band that isn't considered "Christian" who is successful gets help from the Illuminati doesn't know what they are talking about. Point blank. Some bands are really good just by themselves and know how to outreach to fans.

Also...on some real talk. It's cool to speculate, it shows that you are using the mind that God gives you...lets you wonder, but come on. I have a really huge doubt in my mind that Beyonce and Jay Z's unborn child is either a devil baby or the Anti-Christ. Come on people. There are way more people out there that do the same stuff that they do who have kids. Pretty sure their kids aren't devil babies. Be real with yourself on that one.

Another thing. Yes I know that today's popular music is not good and that it influences youth. However, doing nothing but complain about it on Twitter doesn't do a whole ton of good for those youth does it? I want to be successful just as much as the next person, and I know God wants that for me. Quick question: Why do people think that just because they believe in Christ they can't be successful in today's world?" It doesn't make sense to me. Why not? It's alright to be ambitious, so long as it's not for selfish greedy desires. It's alright to aim to be the owner of a multi-million dollar corporation. So long as that corporation isn't aimed at cheating or hurting it's customers. Anyway, back to the point. I want to be able to hone and train myself with my ambition for music. I know I can't relate to ever single situation everyone in the world is going through, but Christ has been blessing me with wisdom, little by little, to share with others. I think it's because of how my mind works that I am able to receive that wisdom. I wish to share what I have learned over the years to people, and I really would like to use music as that medium. Now is this going to happen overnight? Of course not. I have learned not have that expectation.

I like a challenge that I can stay focused on. Music provides such a thing. It's going to take me a while, but I know with practice, help, and focus I will become the best at music to wherever the Lord will have me be. And all the time I am learning I will use what I put hard work in to show God's glory. I can tell stories. That's another good medium for me. Rap for me will be a lot of story telling, but it goes so much further than that. I want to be able to connect with as many people as I can. I want to share with the youth of this world my story and show how I relate to many of the things that they go through in the world today. To give my insight. I really would suggest that if you haven't begun doing that I would start. If that means beginning to pray for God to show you how He wishes to use you, star there. If you already have an idea, pray for opportunities.

Ok, so I'm going to give my opinion on a slightly touchy subject here. I'm not going to go into a huge detail about it, but I want to bring up "The End Times" for a second. I don't doubt that Jesus could return at any moment. He can and He just might. However, I really think that a majority of Christians have something confused about this. I honestly think that people are focused so much on Christ return that they neglect the task at hand. I know I talked about this a few posts back, but I'm bringing it up again because I saw it tonight.

Look, this is a message to the Body of Christ. Stop focusing so much on Christ return. He's going to come back when He comes back. Seriously, some of the people I see talking about it get so obsessed with it I fear they may end up like Harold Camping. Sad and slightly harsh, but true. Christ talks all throughout the Gospels about servitude. To think of others before yourselves. To carry others burdens, to lift others in prayer, to give freely and willing. Not because you have to. Realistically, because of the gift of free will we can choose what we want to do with our lives. When we have given our lives to Christ, we don't become slaves to Christ. We become slaves to Righteousness. We become bondservents to Christ. To work for Him. Not to slave ourselves to Him. I've seen it and experienced it myself that if we try to hard to slave ourselves to doing God's work 100% of our time...we tire ourselves out and end up falling into sin harder than usual.

It's okay for us to be human people. Again I mention this in a previous post from earlier this month, but it really is okay to feel emotions as long as it doesn't cause you to fall into sin.

The point is that the more I keep seeing people tweeting "The end is near, accept Christ or forever perish." type tweets the more frustrated I get. And (here's where that 'you might get offended' part comes in) to be honest I really think that trying to get people to come to Christ is possibly the laziest way to go about reaching people ever. Second to just not doing anything. Scare tactics don't work in the long haul. Trying to prove a point by using examples of people like Lady Gaga or this dude named Tyler the creator (Still have no clue whatsoever as to who this dude is...don't really care honestly) that they are doomed to hell and that if you follow them you will be too. Though true, the way I've seen it said and the actions held behind it make me frown and feel very sad. You can't expect to tell someone that there is a God who loves them without showing them that love. Actions speak louder than words do...even if the words are written in text on the internet.

Final thing I want to point out that I saw because of the VMA's is brothers and sisters in Christ beefing on twitter because of stoopid stuff (yea that's how Ima spell it for all you grammar Nazi's out there, I don't care). Why are we Christians so prideful and touchy when someone tryin to call us out on something w/o listening to what they have to say and thinking about it before we instantly snap back. Then we ask em to unfollow us. Why? So we can stay in our comfort zone? I'm not going to call out anyone on this(besides...the person I'm talking about isn't even following me on twitter anyways), but seriously...this has to stop...NOW. We all talk about unity in the body, yet we simply can't let go of our pride.

I have a way of thinking where I step out and look in, sometimes I place myself as if I were an Atheist or Agnostic, or whatever to see how the Christians are doing and if they are practicing what we preach. Sad to say, but the body as a whole...we ain't. The world see's it and we act as if the world is oblivious to what we are doing. Media is the first to put us on blast whenever we do something completely stupid and use Christ's name to back it up, and I'm not going to front, I've seen and heard of some really stupid things that use Jesus' name I'm all about unity. I didn't grow up in a particular church, so I kinda just float from place to place most of the time. I didn't grow up nailed to some particular doctrine or theology. Honestly, I really think a lot of doctrines and theologies can get in the way of what Christ wants us to do with our lives. Having doctrine and theology in itself is not a bad thing, but what you do with it and how much time you spend focused on it can be a distraction. Just something to think about.

For the most part, I'm kinda sad yet glad I didn't watch the VMA's on TV tonight seeing the responses on twitter made me really get uneasy. But after I prayed, Christ gave me relief and peace. I got to give Justin Beieber some props though. Thankin Jesus on stage was gutsy. Justin if somehow you read this, be blessed broski. Not a huge fan of your music, but I give respect and credit when and where credit is due.

Well there is my reaction to what I saw based off of my twitter to the 2011 MTV VMA's. I'm out and off to bed. Be blessed

Grace & Blessings

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper

Open Rap Letter to Ex Times Ministry

So I was watching this video tonight called "Holy Hip Hop Exposed Pt5" on youtube. I watched the video and still as I type this, I'm getting slightly sick to my stomach. I have this conviction in my heart to just write in this blog rap lyrics to show that though the words "hip-hop" come from the world, people forget that God created the world and everything that was and is and is to come. That anything can be used for His glory if used the right way. Though I personally don't really like the term "Holy Hip Hop" myself, the fact that this ministry just writes it off as something that can not be used to bring people to the Lord is down right wrong. It did for me. So...Ex Times Ministry. I would like to share with you my personal thoughts about "Hip Hop" and why I think you have such a bias opinion on the matter.

You sayin Hip Hop can't be righteous and holy/but you don't look at supporting statistics that show His glory/I can name off 20 Christian rappers off the top of my head/who use beats and rhymes to share what Christ said/I don't know much bout your church, but if I was to meet ya doorman/I'm pretty sure I'd walk into a church of right wing Mormons/What you know bout holiness?/I don't see God's love in your words where the yoke in this?/I'm mixed predominantly white/I like to make music and rhymes are what I like to write/Yea I got earrings/gonna call me a heathen?/if I ever sag it just shows that I've been watchin what I'm eatin/and I can't afford to buy a new belt or new pair of pants/but looks liked you'd use it against me for another one of your rants/It's churches like you that we can't have unity/who are you to say what seed Christ sewed in me?/I do hip hop because I can relate/though I didn't live in the ghetto, hoods, or the streets/I know what its like to not have stability/moved from place to place without parents hope you feelin me/It takes a lot to get me angry, y'all gettin me close/before I throw up your video I had to click close/I dare you to stay a week in the hood/and preach to the people sayin hip hop no good/when all you do is say accept Christ as yo savior/or you burn in hell now say yo prayer/you don't know they struggles/how you gonna relate?/You gonna give em $2oo cuz the rent late?/help build a home/course why worth your time/by the time that its done you call the 5-0/cuz you think some dude gonna break in with a 9/to me you sound like people who give up/someone who didn't see the right path when the flame went up/hip hop is to you as gay is to WBC/and I'd be willin to bet you only doin it to get on NBC/you scared to get out with the people/and yes I'ma cut yo throat because you and bein leaders/you ain't tellin truth/yo minds are tainted/you do not fully understand Gods grace and yet/you still find a way to try and convince people that they ways are wrong/I'm slightly curious to hear a worship song/you sing/read the lyrics they in the same format as rap/but you think it's crap/because you stereotype thinkin all rappers talk about is fornication and sellin drugs..../it sound like y'all need some hugs/and if you readin this tryin to rap it in your head don't cuz you will contradict yourself/you can't bring Christian rap down you can only bring it up/becuz our actions, yes ours, because we are a body/a very infected one, but one nonetheless/all have the same head/so give us this day Father our daily bread/I'll let you finish the prayer because quite frankly, I think you need to say the prayer more than Christian rappers do/This could be like How The Grinch Stole Christmas/come say hi to a who/Who? A child of God doing his will above mine/oh you are so scared you have to borrow fair/parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme/but you won't use it for the right reason/hip hop is dyin but I like to call it a season/make or break/you gonna give or you gonna take/I pray so hard for you oh you pharisees/You care less about your neighbor than a country overseas/be slow to anger and quick to listen/Love God Love People Hate sin true Christian/this isn't worth my time/I got lives to help save/I pray that you do not take your hate/for hip hop with you all the way to the grave/cuz you'll see me someday at or past the pearly gates/and once we are robed there can no longer be hate

Grace and Blessings

Till Next Time

Richie Tha Rapper

Be Loving....Be Real

I have been a believer in Christ for 5 years now. I've seen a lot of stuff, but here recently, I've been realizing some stuff to. I've been looking and listening to people, and I'm beginning to see something that kinda saddens me. To me it seems like a lot of Christians are becoming very self-centered, using Christ as a shield to protect them from getting called out. I hear it in music, from pastors, authors, etc., and it is boggling my mind. Now I'm no biblical scholar by any means, but I'm pretty sure that God calls for us to be humble. To serve the poor and needy. To stand up against sin, to show the world Gods true love.

I mean, lets think about this for a minute here. If we are true believers in Christ, then we know that God will have us for eternity, right? So...from what I've been seeing I have to ask: Why is everyone just worried about themselves? Now I'm not here to call any particular individuals out, but I listen to a lot of Christian rappers, and as I listen to them, I can't help but think "Are they really doing God's work?" Now I know there is probably a difference from what they talk about on tracks to what they do outside the booth and stage, but looking at lyrical content I see so much narcissism with Christian rappers today. The whole "Live with the end in mind" concept has almost become an obsession with so many. It's like everybody just wants to say "screw it, Lord take me home now please, there is no more work for me to do, I just want to be done with Earth." Seriously? Cuz if thats the case, I'm sorry, but you really have wasted your life.

Rappers, for just a minute here, please listen. I'm getting so sick and tired of artist sugarcoating what they say on a track. Seriously, it's a huge turn off for me to hear what you have to say. I'm really just taking a break from listening to a lot of CHH artist for awhile, because, as much as this hurts me to say this, CHH has basically become like mainstream Top 40. Everyone is saying the exact same thing and quite honestly, it pisses me off. I look for realness with music. Thats why I always had enjoyed listening to Eminem. Sure he isn't Christian, but at least he's real. He always has been, always will be. He doesn't talk about poppin bottles in the club, money, rides, and sex. He talks about what he has gone through. In full real detail. That's why so many think he's one of the best rappers in game, and quite frankly, I agree. Sure there are a lot of really great CHH artists, and by no means am I doggin on anyone, but all I hear anymore is the exact same thing. I don't hear real. I hear what is expected. I hear a very in the box message. I hear the fear of using the gifts that God has given them to their fullest potential. To be the upmost creative with expressing oneself.

Now, I can't say a whole ton, cuz I still myself have yet to practice all that I preach, but I promised myself and to the Lord that I will not sugarcoat what I have to say. It may not be much (come on. Lets face it, I didn't grow up in the hood or to hip hop), but it's still enough that I am fully willing to learn it and use it to glorify God.

In my heart I really feel that I still have quite a bit of time left here on Earth, and I do keep the end in mind, but I refuse to be obsessed with it. I can glorify Jesus without even having to say His name. I don't even have to say a single word. If your reading this, I want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to or even just to listen to things that you have going on, you can reach out to me in full confidence.

I love myself, don't get me wrong, but I love myself enough to put others before myself. I love myself enough to be real with people. I love myself enough to know the difference between being a slave to God and being in a relationship with God. God doesn't want us to be His slaves. He wants us to walk with Him and Him with us, to give us experiences to grow. So don't waste your lives by just focusing strictly on God and Heaven and all of that. Be with people. It's okay to be human guys. If it wasn't then what the heck are we? Laugh, cry, sing, be silent, run, walk, rap, act, write, whatever. Keep God in your heart and your eyes focused on where you are, God will show you opportunities that you would missed if you kept your eyes focused on the sky. Remember...you can't minister to a cloud, and you can't minister to yourself. Be with others, even if they don't believe. It's alright. And seriously.....Why so serious?

Till next time

Grace and Blessings

Richie Tha Rapper

Tough Choices

Since I've been living here in Manhattan for the last several years, I've had this thought that I was going to be staying here for quite some time. However, I have the thought that it might not be. This summer has been showing to be very boring for me. I'm not getting anything done, I hardly ever have someone who can, at any moment, want to hang out with me, and I'm feeling more isolated now then I did when I first got here. I'm not growing as much as I'd like to be socially, spiritually, or mentally. There is not a ton of opportunities for me here, for either a job or to grow with my music. Hip Hop is not a very huge deal out here. And there aren't very many artist or producers out here that I know.

The other night I was talking with a friend and sister in Christ about maybe moving down to Wichita. From what I understand there is always something going on down there and it would give me a greater chance to get known, meet new people, make great connections and friends. Plus I have family down there. Actual biological family. Now this all sounds grand and hunky dory, but there are two things that are keeping from instantly saying "Yes, I'm moving down there ASAP." 1) This has been home for me for the last 5 years. Even though I've moved around town a few times, this is still a place that's been stable, and 2) I've made so many friends here that, even though I don't hang out with them all of the time, it would be difficult for me to grow a custom to knowing that I'd be away from them. I didn't grow up having a lot of friends. So the ones that I have now are very close to heart. I know leaving here would have some form of impact on me.

So I'm going to be praying about this choice. Really, really hard. I'm going to need a ton of prayer from others as well. This may just be the biggest choice I've made in years. I know either way I'm going to have to step out on faith, I just want to make sure I don't rush anything and make a decision God didn't put on my heart.

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper.