So I've learned over the years, just as everyone has, that somewhere along the road, somehow someway, you're going to get rejected for something or from someone. If it's from a girl or guy you like saying "No", or a business deal, from a piece of art (any kind of art), to a job, etc. The list goes on and on. Today, I got a rough draft beat done and asked for an opinion and advice from a friend of mine down in Florida. He listened to it, said (I think) jokingly that it sounded like it came from "The Legend of Zelda" from the 80's and told me that it didn't go well together. I was hoping that maybe he would suggest a different sound style that could go with what I had in mind for this or something, but to my surprise he simply said scrap it.
He did say that it was just his opinion though. I didn't get angry or anything, but I was disappointed. I do admit that I had only worked on it for less than 24 hours, but I gave up trying to do anything this afternoon to work on it. Needless to say when I read the word "scrap" I was devastated. Over the last few hours I've noticed how much negative damage that a form of rejection can do. I started eating a ton of sunflower seeds in a row. I started feeling the effects of the salt I was taking in. So I decided to go for a jog. It was nice and it helped, but the thought that I might not have gotten any further with my skill in beat making saddened me. What confused me was I had received an email last night from another friend of mine in KC who told me how much I've been improving. The sad thing about this is, I didn't remember the email until I got to this paragraph.
I've also been feeling the pressures of rejection from other sources as well. I tried getting a job at Wendy's. Just so I could have a job. Something to keep me from being bored out of my skull and to help me get a bit of money in my pocket. I tried calling them several times and they told me to try again the next day or whatever. Then finally I called and they told me, because of my past work experience, I was a poor hire, after I had my first interview with them 3 weeks prior and a very brief interview the day before with the Store Manager, I was told that I could reapply in 3 months. (Sorry, if it sounds like I'm slightly venting during this part, I am). I was a tid bit upset...ok thats an understatement. I was pissed. I was finally at a breaking point where I might just have a job lined up and next thing I know...nope. Pray for me y'all. I really need a job. Soon.
Now I'm going to talk about the type of rejection almost all people my age (teenagers mostly) go through all the time. Rejection from a relationship. We all go through it. I've gone through it. You've probably gone through it. Your parents probably went through it at some point. It's tough. I know I've learned several things over the last few years. Communication is key to anything. I know for some of us, like me, saying anything in the form of "I like you" can be really gutsy. Sometimes it's needed. Now trust me when I say this, by NO means am I any kinda relationship guru, so don't read this part thinking I've got the answers to your relationship problems. I won't lie, some people tend to think that I am and come to me with problems in their relationships. I do the best that I can and give you my most thought out answer, but don't take my word 100% for it. More or less, I've never actually been in a dating relationship myself. Again, that's a more or less statement.
To save some time, I'll get into that part some other time. For right now though, based off of what I've learned and experienced, I'll give you a few ways to help ease the usual harshness that comes with rejection.
#1: Move on...QUICKLY! Don't get yourself wrapped all up in the thing or person you got rejected from. If you keep that in your mind for a long time, not only will it keep hurting you, but it might just end up hurting others as well. I've had several cases in the past where I kept my mind thinking on something or someone I got rejected from and ended up doing very, very stupid things because of it. I've lost friendships, I've come very very close to losing very valued friendships. I can tell you in advance, you'll save yourself a ton of pain if you just quickly acknowledge the rejection, take a moment to realize it, breathe, then just get your mind focused on something else.
#2: Recognize patterns. If you keep getting rejected by girls or guys with similar personalities, then maybe you shouldn't be looking for someone with that type of personality. Try looking for someone different, even if you REALLY have to step out of your comfort zone to do it. Who knows, it might just work for you. Same with the things you want to do. For me with music, I know I am my own worst critic, but I have started thinking about ways that I can start making my beats better. If I get a rough draft finished, start thinking in a way a pro would think. This might sound contradictory, but start thinking critical and point out everything thats wrong with it. If there is a note or sound thats off with the rest of the beat then quickly point it out and fix it. If a song doesn't sound good at all, put it to the side and start something new. Come back to it later, etc.
#3: Talk to someone you trust. If you have prolonging negative feelings about the rejection you really do need to talk to someone about it. I know that's cliche, but it's true. Keeping what you're feeling about what happened can end in different bad ways depending on the situation. Look and pray for someone who has had similar experiences as you who's a bit older that you can get to know and trust. One of my greatest spiritual, mental, and life mentors is my bro Matthew "Matt Mic" Crawford. I know I can talk to this brother about ANYTHING in full confidence. Still am looking forward to actually meeting him in person, but I've been blessed and completely grateful for what God has done with his mentoring thus far. I could brag about how much this dude has helped me in the last year or so, but I'm sure you'll read and hear plenty of that in the months to come. (BTW...here in October. HE'S GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!)
#4: Being around things that remind you of the situation is a huge no no. At least, not if you haven't been able to move on from the situation just yet. There are certain songs that I use to listen to all of the time, because I felt like I related to them during the times I was stuck in the thoughts of rejection. Songs like "Apologize" by One Republic and "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence are just two songs off the top of my head that I would just play over and over and over again during those times. Now that I've moved on from those times I still play them, but they don't have the same effects.
#5: Stay in reality. I know there are tons of ways out there that you can use to try and escape the pain and let down you are feeling. I know this is much easier said than done, believe me, but if you keep finding ways to try and alter what you perceive as reality, you will end up worse than how you initially felt. You could end up with scars on the outside and inside of your body. You could end up mentally insane. You could kill yourself. You could hurt or even end up killing someone else. All over being rejected. It's not worth it. I've come danger close to going crazy, but I'm so glad that I didn't.
#6: Go out and do something. With others if possible. Go for a walk/jog, go hang out with a friend or two. Read a book. Keep your mind engaged in something. Don't do nothing. Doing nothing will let the thought creep right back in and bring you right back where you don't want to be.
#7: Be real with yourself. They say acknowledgment is the first step to recovery, no matter how extreme it may be. You might have to do some soul searching to figure out where the negative feelings are coming from and then tell yourself that it's there and say to yourself that it doesn't matter, you are better than what you are feeling. It works! Trust me on that one.
Finally and most importantly #8: Say a prayer. Even if you don't believe in God. Give it a shot. Ask for someone to be brought to you that can help you get through the stage your in and help you to move on. I know there are times where I really doubt God, but I've had a person come into my life at the moment I needed someone. It helped me out a lot and after a bit strengthened my faith and relationship with Christ. God works wonders, even if you don't realize it. You know the saying "Pain is only temporary"? That's biblical! So try not to worry about it. If you can do these things, you'll get over whatever kinda rejection comes your way very quickly.
Hope everyone in America had a wonderful 4th of July and was safe. For everyone else in the world, hoping and praying that you are well!
Till next time, grace and blessings
Richie Tha Rapper.
