When Sorrow Turns To Joy

The book of Job has always had a huge influence on me. That's the book in the Bible that I've compared my life story to the most. Now I'm not going to lie, I just Google searched this picture, but I found it on perfect timing.

Prior to writing this post, I had spent the last 15 minutes just spending time in very intimate worship with Christ. I had only listened to 2 songs ("Fire Fall Down" and "Lead Me To The Cross" by Hillsong), but they were enough to truly bring me into worship and communion with the Lord. Now let me explain what brought me into worship this afternoon, because it just wasn't because.

Before I listened to those two songs, I had sinned. The nature of the sin doesn't need to be shared, just known that I had sinned. I had fought the sin the previous night and actually won, yet for some reason, I couldn't this afternoon. I have no idea why. I might never know, but the fact is that I really feel that God used that sin to make me think and realize a few things. I had opened up biblegateway.com earlier. When I returned to it I was in the book of Psalms. The other day I had stumbled onto Psalms 51. Little did I realize just how important that chapter was going to be in my relationship with Christ. So I looked that chapter up and the verses that really had caught my attention more than any of them was verses 15-17 which says "Help me to speak, and I will praise you, Lord. Offerings and sacrifices are not what you want. The way to please you is to feel sorrow deep in our hearts. This is the kind of sacrifice you won't refuse." (CEV).

Lately, I've been dealing with a lot more than I would probably care to admit otherwise. I've been having a hardening of heart towards many things. Both inward and outward. I've been having a huge confidence problem. I don't feel strengthened to accomplish the desires of my heart. I've been doubting, I've been angry, sad, and confused. Honestly though that's really just the tip of the iceberg.

I've also been hurt outwardly, from brothers and sisters in Christ. Some who know (or should know) that they hurt me, others who don't. There was an "older brother" in Christ who tried to play himself as holier than thou against me when I called him out on something. I was really really hurt by this dude and have lost every ounce of respect for him. I've also been hurt, or at least have felt hurt, by others within church groups. I've always been accepted by almost any church group I've been a part of, but I don't feel included in a lot of things outside of group activities. I've been facing loneliness. It may be myself entirely or it might just be my pride, but I've been feeling neglected by a lot of people lately. I know people are always busy, but it really has made me feel hurt to know that I don't get included in things.

However, I'm not the type of dude to just straight up talk down on anyone and everyone. That would be wrong of me and be very prideful and arrogant of me. It would also hurt me more in the long run. I still very much love my church fam. In a lot of ways they are really all I have. I know that I'm loved by them and I know they want to help see me succeed just as much as I want to see them do the same. I just kinda wish sometimes I could get more encouragement from time to time.

Now I will say that I do have some problems with modern day Christianity, but I will go into that in a later post. Trust me though, these are problems that the church needs to understand, because they are real and the church in general has become so oblivious to them it's no wonder that we wonder why non believers bash us.

But for now, I'll end off by saying that I'm very humbled that God has been and will continue to be working in me. My chisel season is continuing and I pray that God will use me in the most unexpected ways. For now though, I hope and pray that everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas, and I'm sure I'll put something new back up sometime between Christmas and New Years. Safe travels everyone and God bless

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper

Things On My Mind

There's several things about this picture above that could be interpreted for this blog, but I want you to focus just on the Lego character. What do you see? I'm looking for a specific. Take a guess...

If you guessed that he is by himself, you would have guessed right. That's what I want to talk about with this post. This is something that has been on my heart and mind lately. I've been feeling very alone lately.

Now I know people will tell me that I'm never alone, and to an extent they would be correct. I know that I have Christ, who is always with me. However, even Jesus was around people. The only times that I'm aware of that he was alone was when he went to pray and when he was nailed to the cross. He had his disciples, who he talked to when things were troubling him. He ate with them, hung out with them, etc. Christ was, to a large extent, a people person. I don't think that he was a huge introvert, though he did find his time to be by himself.

I was doing some reminiscing earlier today, and almost got to the point of tears...almost. I feel like I am slowly becoming hard-hearted and not allowing myself to cry, and I'm finding this to become slightly unhealthy for me. As I was thinking back on my past, I realized that I've never had more than a handful of friends at any given point of my life. Throughout certain points, I had less than that. Growing up very sheltered, I was never given the chance to meet people and hang out. Sadly, this has followed me even all the way up to young adulthood. I would be lying if I said I didn't resent it. If there is anything that I'm bitter about it it is that. It has caused me so many problems growing up. It's cut me away from many opportunities, and has influenced my trust issues. The only thing about it that has been positive in anyway is that if I hadn't have had this problem, I may not have come to where I am now. Which I don't regret or resent.

I have found this to be one of my biggest challenges of faith. Ever since I have came to Christ, I've had a "Outside looking in" view on the Church, and needless to say, I've been disappointed one to many times. I've had to learn the hard way not to hold my view of God in people, because that will lead me to much disappointment. Instead, I've been learning (cuz I'm not going to really 100% know until that day) how to really view God. I know that he's love, and I know that he is more. He has anger and he has sadness, but there is so much more to God than any human could ever know, save for Jesus Christ. I know that he knows why I've been feeling so alone better than I do, which is good, cuz I don't have much of a clue as to why.

I've never really liked getting sympathy from people for my misfortunes, and I don't desire it. I very much dislike it when I fall into self-pity (because "hate" is to strong a word there), yet I know I've landed into that so many times. I don't know what is going to happen or what I'm going to do to get out of this feeling. I'm certain people will try to cheer me up, and maybe even try to hang out with me more. Maybe not. Either way, I'm just praying for change with this. I'm training myself not to have the mentality that people owe me something, cuz they don't. I also don't want to think that if someone does notice this and try and cheer me up I don't want to refuse it simply because they've noticed this...if that made sense.

I know I'm never "Forever Alone." I know that, however, that doesn't neglect the fact that this feeling is very real for me. I also know that this is very real for countless other individuals. I can probably think of at least 10 names off the top of my head who are feeling the same way as me who wouldn't talk about it in any way. So I guess, in a way, you could say that I'm bout to advocate for them.

From what I've learned there are several things to help if your feeling alone:

1)Remember, you really aren't alone ever. Regardless if you believe in Him or not, Christ is with you in some way.

2)Don't hold yourself to thinking that social networking and media is going to help solve your problem of loneliness. Trust me on this one, it never will.

3)Don't bring yourself to doing destructive behaviors. Anything from drinking to porn and anything in between.

4)I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Give prayer a shot. Even if you don't believe, prayer works. Maybe not exactly the way you want it to, but it does. Give it a chance to work.

5)Have a positive mindset. Positive thinking creates positive results. Don't let negative talk or thinking consume you. It will destroy your hope in change and you'll be stuck where you are for quite some time.

I hope this helps someone. I'm hoping it helps me. I apologize for not posting in quite some time. I promise I'll try to start posting more regularly if time permits. I still want to get in on the topics from "Man Up." Hope all is well with you all and hope my American readers had a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving.

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper

Learning What It Means To Man Up (Part 1)

How's it goinn all? It's been a minute since I last posted on here. I've been kept busy. Got a job finally, praise God. Been tryin to work on music, chillin with friends, etc, etc. BUT I'm back now, and I wanted to do a post over a topic that, in the Christian Hip Hop scene, has been catching a lot of attention. I'm talking about 11Six Clique's latest contemplation album "Man Up". I went and bought the album + DVD, and I have to say, I was blown away by both. Reach Records has been putting in a lot of work on this and the finished product shows that. Now with that said, I'm not going to spend time telling you about the album or give you any spoilers from the movie (It takes place in the ghetto, there), because I want you to go get it yourself. No, I want to talk about what I got from the movie in specific. I want to talk about what I got from it and how I want to apply it to my life, and your's. There was 6 different topics that were talked about by guys with Reach on a different segment of the DVD. Authority, Responsibility, Envy, Courage, Sexual Temptation, and Repentance. I'm a hit all 6 of em in this blog. I'm going to give my take on each from what I have experienced, from what I have read about each in God's Word, and from what I'm learning after watching this movie. So follow along with me as I go into a subject that a lot of dude's in today's world need to know about. Now I won't be saying that I am a full man. Cuz I'm not. I still have a lot of growing to do, but I have some insight that can help dude's who don't even realize that they really not Men just yet. (That's my legal disclaimer for this blog btw.) I say that jokingly, but in all seriousness, if you read this don't believe what I've typed just cuz I've typed it, but I do ask that you think over it and apply it to your life and think about how you're life is going and see if you are really a "Man" (Sorry ladies, this one's aimed particularly at the guys, however feel free to read so you may relay this to dude's you know who need to know this).

#1: Authority. Something that to a lot dude's gets twisted. Who is authority? Well for us here in the U.S. it's the government. The President, Congress, Military, Judicial, Law Enforcement, etc. A lot of people in America have this "F the Government" mentality, because we notice that they haven't been doing there job to the best of there ability or we might think that they have been doing things for the wrong reasons without the people's best interest at heart. Though in a sense that may be true, we the people need to realize that this is a give and take relationship between us and those in power. I believe that the Government really does want to help our country. I just think that there are some who are in it for the wrong reasons and don't realize that their greed hurts the country. However I do think that the majority of people in Congress and the White House are wanting things to get better, they, just like us, are having to learn. It might take some time, but I think that we need to be patient. Keep in mind that God has everything in control with the U.S.'s situation. He is sovereign. He placed them in charge for reason's we don't fully know of yet. And I am just starting at home, for all my international people, your government's are probably different than our's. Yet I'm sure there are quite a few things that are the same. Here's the basic break down though. Jesus followed the authority that was here on Earth during his life. He didn't go off and retaliate on the solider's who came to arrest him. He didn't get prideful towards authority. He entrusted in the Heavenly Father. He didn't teach for people to riot against the government. He lived his purpose and kept his eyes on the Father, who is the greatest authority. I know in my own personal life I haven't always been a law abiding citizen, but I try to keep my nose clean as well as I can. I've been real good about it, but I still have a few things I could work on. So I'm not excluded when I say that, in America at least, that we need to step up to the plate and be able to let go of our pride in thinking that we know what is best for our country, and be able to put faith in God knowing that He has the people that we call our government in his hands. And if we have a solution, discuss it and share ideas off of people. If you get prideful and think that you know the solution to something, chances are you probably don't know it if you haven't talked about it with others.

I'm breaking this post into a 6 part series for each topic, just because of how late it is for me and I have to work in the morning, but I will come back Friday with Part 2 over Responsibility. Until then keep your heads up, your faith up, and for the dudes, lets Man Up.

Till Next Time

Grace and Blessings

Richie

The 2011 MTV VMA's On Twitter

Alright, so I don't have cable where I'm at, but I got home tonight from a Life Group with Cats 4 Christ to find out that tonight was the MTV Video Music Awards. My initial thought was: "Alright cool...the VMA's. This ought to be good to see what happens." At first that was the case. Then things went from cool to downright insane, at least for my personal Twitter timeline.

Alright, couple things here to start off my reaction to tonight. First things first, I am going to forewarn you reader that anything I say in this blog could offend you. This blog is going to be written solely based off of what I had seen on my timeline. The comments I make are individual to small group aimed only. No generalizing here. K? Cool.

Ok so a vast majority of people I follow on Twitter are somehow affiliated with Christian rap, so I'm just going to get all the real deep religious talk out of the way first. Here's a little tid bit for you that you might find helpful as a future reference: Yes the Illuminati is real. No, they are not why every single artist or band becomes successful and wins awards. Anyone who says that every single band that isn't considered "Christian" who is successful gets help from the Illuminati doesn't know what they are talking about. Point blank. Some bands are really good just by themselves and know how to outreach to fans.

Also...on some real talk. It's cool to speculate, it shows that you are using the mind that God gives you...lets you wonder, but come on. I have a really huge doubt in my mind that Beyonce and Jay Z's unborn child is either a devil baby or the Anti-Christ. Come on people. There are way more people out there that do the same stuff that they do who have kids. Pretty sure their kids aren't devil babies. Be real with yourself on that one.

Another thing. Yes I know that today's popular music is not good and that it influences youth. However, doing nothing but complain about it on Twitter doesn't do a whole ton of good for those youth does it? I want to be successful just as much as the next person, and I know God wants that for me. Quick question: Why do people think that just because they believe in Christ they can't be successful in today's world?" It doesn't make sense to me. Why not? It's alright to be ambitious, so long as it's not for selfish greedy desires. It's alright to aim to be the owner of a multi-million dollar corporation. So long as that corporation isn't aimed at cheating or hurting it's customers. Anyway, back to the point. I want to be able to hone and train myself with my ambition for music. I know I can't relate to ever single situation everyone in the world is going through, but Christ has been blessing me with wisdom, little by little, to share with others. I think it's because of how my mind works that I am able to receive that wisdom. I wish to share what I have learned over the years to people, and I really would like to use music as that medium. Now is this going to happen overnight? Of course not. I have learned not have that expectation.

I like a challenge that I can stay focused on. Music provides such a thing. It's going to take me a while, but I know with practice, help, and focus I will become the best at music to wherever the Lord will have me be. And all the time I am learning I will use what I put hard work in to show God's glory. I can tell stories. That's another good medium for me. Rap for me will be a lot of story telling, but it goes so much further than that. I want to be able to connect with as many people as I can. I want to share with the youth of this world my story and show how I relate to many of the things that they go through in the world today. To give my insight. I really would suggest that if you haven't begun doing that I would start. If that means beginning to pray for God to show you how He wishes to use you, star there. If you already have an idea, pray for opportunities.

Ok, so I'm going to give my opinion on a slightly touchy subject here. I'm not going to go into a huge detail about it, but I want to bring up "The End Times" for a second. I don't doubt that Jesus could return at any moment. He can and He just might. However, I really think that a majority of Christians have something confused about this. I honestly think that people are focused so much on Christ return that they neglect the task at hand. I know I talked about this a few posts back, but I'm bringing it up again because I saw it tonight.

Look, this is a message to the Body of Christ. Stop focusing so much on Christ return. He's going to come back when He comes back. Seriously, some of the people I see talking about it get so obsessed with it I fear they may end up like Harold Camping. Sad and slightly harsh, but true. Christ talks all throughout the Gospels about servitude. To think of others before yourselves. To carry others burdens, to lift others in prayer, to give freely and willing. Not because you have to. Realistically, because of the gift of free will we can choose what we want to do with our lives. When we have given our lives to Christ, we don't become slaves to Christ. We become slaves to Righteousness. We become bondservents to Christ. To work for Him. Not to slave ourselves to Him. I've seen it and experienced it myself that if we try to hard to slave ourselves to doing God's work 100% of our time...we tire ourselves out and end up falling into sin harder than usual.

It's okay for us to be human people. Again I mention this in a previous post from earlier this month, but it really is okay to feel emotions as long as it doesn't cause you to fall into sin.

The point is that the more I keep seeing people tweeting "The end is near, accept Christ or forever perish." type tweets the more frustrated I get. And (here's where that 'you might get offended' part comes in) to be honest I really think that trying to get people to come to Christ is possibly the laziest way to go about reaching people ever. Second to just not doing anything. Scare tactics don't work in the long haul. Trying to prove a point by using examples of people like Lady Gaga or this dude named Tyler the creator (Still have no clue whatsoever as to who this dude is...don't really care honestly) that they are doomed to hell and that if you follow them you will be too. Though true, the way I've seen it said and the actions held behind it make me frown and feel very sad. You can't expect to tell someone that there is a God who loves them without showing them that love. Actions speak louder than words do...even if the words are written in text on the internet.

Final thing I want to point out that I saw because of the VMA's is brothers and sisters in Christ beefing on twitter because of stoopid stuff (yea that's how Ima spell it for all you grammar Nazi's out there, I don't care). Why are we Christians so prideful and touchy when someone tryin to call us out on something w/o listening to what they have to say and thinking about it before we instantly snap back. Then we ask em to unfollow us. Why? So we can stay in our comfort zone? I'm not going to call out anyone on this(besides...the person I'm talking about isn't even following me on twitter anyways), but seriously...this has to stop...NOW. We all talk about unity in the body, yet we simply can't let go of our pride.

I have a way of thinking where I step out and look in, sometimes I place myself as if I were an Atheist or Agnostic, or whatever to see how the Christians are doing and if they are practicing what we preach. Sad to say, but the body as a whole...we ain't. The world see's it and we act as if the world is oblivious to what we are doing. Media is the first to put us on blast whenever we do something completely stupid and use Christ's name to back it up, and I'm not going to front, I've seen and heard of some really stupid things that use Jesus' name I'm all about unity. I didn't grow up in a particular church, so I kinda just float from place to place most of the time. I didn't grow up nailed to some particular doctrine or theology. Honestly, I really think a lot of doctrines and theologies can get in the way of what Christ wants us to do with our lives. Having doctrine and theology in itself is not a bad thing, but what you do with it and how much time you spend focused on it can be a distraction. Just something to think about.

For the most part, I'm kinda sad yet glad I didn't watch the VMA's on TV tonight seeing the responses on twitter made me really get uneasy. But after I prayed, Christ gave me relief and peace. I got to give Justin Beieber some props though. Thankin Jesus on stage was gutsy. Justin if somehow you read this, be blessed broski. Not a huge fan of your music, but I give respect and credit when and where credit is due.

Well there is my reaction to what I saw based off of my twitter to the 2011 MTV VMA's. I'm out and off to bed. Be blessed

Grace & Blessings

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper

Open Rap Letter to Ex Times Ministry

So I was watching this video tonight called "Holy Hip Hop Exposed Pt5" on youtube. I watched the video and still as I type this, I'm getting slightly sick to my stomach. I have this conviction in my heart to just write in this blog rap lyrics to show that though the words "hip-hop" come from the world, people forget that God created the world and everything that was and is and is to come. That anything can be used for His glory if used the right way. Though I personally don't really like the term "Holy Hip Hop" myself, the fact that this ministry just writes it off as something that can not be used to bring people to the Lord is down right wrong. It did for me. So...Ex Times Ministry. I would like to share with you my personal thoughts about "Hip Hop" and why I think you have such a bias opinion on the matter.

You sayin Hip Hop can't be righteous and holy/but you don't look at supporting statistics that show His glory/I can name off 20 Christian rappers off the top of my head/who use beats and rhymes to share what Christ said/I don't know much bout your church, but if I was to meet ya doorman/I'm pretty sure I'd walk into a church of right wing Mormons/What you know bout holiness?/I don't see God's love in your words where the yoke in this?/I'm mixed predominantly white/I like to make music and rhymes are what I like to write/Yea I got earrings/gonna call me a heathen?/if I ever sag it just shows that I've been watchin what I'm eatin/and I can't afford to buy a new belt or new pair of pants/but looks liked you'd use it against me for another one of your rants/It's churches like you that we can't have unity/who are you to say what seed Christ sewed in me?/I do hip hop because I can relate/though I didn't live in the ghetto, hoods, or the streets/I know what its like to not have stability/moved from place to place without parents hope you feelin me/It takes a lot to get me angry, y'all gettin me close/before I throw up your video I had to click close/I dare you to stay a week in the hood/and preach to the people sayin hip hop no good/when all you do is say accept Christ as yo savior/or you burn in hell now say yo prayer/you don't know they struggles/how you gonna relate?/You gonna give em $2oo cuz the rent late?/help build a home/course why worth your time/by the time that its done you call the 5-0/cuz you think some dude gonna break in with a 9/to me you sound like people who give up/someone who didn't see the right path when the flame went up/hip hop is to you as gay is to WBC/and I'd be willin to bet you only doin it to get on NBC/you scared to get out with the people/and yes I'ma cut yo throat because you and bein leaders/you ain't tellin truth/yo minds are tainted/you do not fully understand Gods grace and yet/you still find a way to try and convince people that they ways are wrong/I'm slightly curious to hear a worship song/you sing/read the lyrics they in the same format as rap/but you think it's crap/because you stereotype thinkin all rappers talk about is fornication and sellin drugs..../it sound like y'all need some hugs/and if you readin this tryin to rap it in your head don't cuz you will contradict yourself/you can't bring Christian rap down you can only bring it up/becuz our actions, yes ours, because we are a body/a very infected one, but one nonetheless/all have the same head/so give us this day Father our daily bread/I'll let you finish the prayer because quite frankly, I think you need to say the prayer more than Christian rappers do/This could be like How The Grinch Stole Christmas/come say hi to a who/Who? A child of God doing his will above mine/oh you are so scared you have to borrow fair/parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme/but you won't use it for the right reason/hip hop is dyin but I like to call it a season/make or break/you gonna give or you gonna take/I pray so hard for you oh you pharisees/You care less about your neighbor than a country overseas/be slow to anger and quick to listen/Love God Love People Hate sin true Christian/this isn't worth my time/I got lives to help save/I pray that you do not take your hate/for hip hop with you all the way to the grave/cuz you'll see me someday at or past the pearly gates/and once we are robed there can no longer be hate

Grace and Blessings

Till Next Time

Richie Tha Rapper

Be Loving....Be Real

I have been a believer in Christ for 5 years now. I've seen a lot of stuff, but here recently, I've been realizing some stuff to. I've been looking and listening to people, and I'm beginning to see something that kinda saddens me. To me it seems like a lot of Christians are becoming very self-centered, using Christ as a shield to protect them from getting called out. I hear it in music, from pastors, authors, etc., and it is boggling my mind. Now I'm no biblical scholar by any means, but I'm pretty sure that God calls for us to be humble. To serve the poor and needy. To stand up against sin, to show the world Gods true love.

I mean, lets think about this for a minute here. If we are true believers in Christ, then we know that God will have us for eternity, right? So...from what I've been seeing I have to ask: Why is everyone just worried about themselves? Now I'm not here to call any particular individuals out, but I listen to a lot of Christian rappers, and as I listen to them, I can't help but think "Are they really doing God's work?" Now I know there is probably a difference from what they talk about on tracks to what they do outside the booth and stage, but looking at lyrical content I see so much narcissism with Christian rappers today. The whole "Live with the end in mind" concept has almost become an obsession with so many. It's like everybody just wants to say "screw it, Lord take me home now please, there is no more work for me to do, I just want to be done with Earth." Seriously? Cuz if thats the case, I'm sorry, but you really have wasted your life.

Rappers, for just a minute here, please listen. I'm getting so sick and tired of artist sugarcoating what they say on a track. Seriously, it's a huge turn off for me to hear what you have to say. I'm really just taking a break from listening to a lot of CHH artist for awhile, because, as much as this hurts me to say this, CHH has basically become like mainstream Top 40. Everyone is saying the exact same thing and quite honestly, it pisses me off. I look for realness with music. Thats why I always had enjoyed listening to Eminem. Sure he isn't Christian, but at least he's real. He always has been, always will be. He doesn't talk about poppin bottles in the club, money, rides, and sex. He talks about what he has gone through. In full real detail. That's why so many think he's one of the best rappers in game, and quite frankly, I agree. Sure there are a lot of really great CHH artists, and by no means am I doggin on anyone, but all I hear anymore is the exact same thing. I don't hear real. I hear what is expected. I hear a very in the box message. I hear the fear of using the gifts that God has given them to their fullest potential. To be the upmost creative with expressing oneself.

Now, I can't say a whole ton, cuz I still myself have yet to practice all that I preach, but I promised myself and to the Lord that I will not sugarcoat what I have to say. It may not be much (come on. Lets face it, I didn't grow up in the hood or to hip hop), but it's still enough that I am fully willing to learn it and use it to glorify God.

In my heart I really feel that I still have quite a bit of time left here on Earth, and I do keep the end in mind, but I refuse to be obsessed with it. I can glorify Jesus without even having to say His name. I don't even have to say a single word. If your reading this, I want you to know that if you ever need someone to talk to or even just to listen to things that you have going on, you can reach out to me in full confidence.

I love myself, don't get me wrong, but I love myself enough to put others before myself. I love myself enough to be real with people. I love myself enough to know the difference between being a slave to God and being in a relationship with God. God doesn't want us to be His slaves. He wants us to walk with Him and Him with us, to give us experiences to grow. So don't waste your lives by just focusing strictly on God and Heaven and all of that. Be with people. It's okay to be human guys. If it wasn't then what the heck are we? Laugh, cry, sing, be silent, run, walk, rap, act, write, whatever. Keep God in your heart and your eyes focused on where you are, God will show you opportunities that you would missed if you kept your eyes focused on the sky. Remember...you can't minister to a cloud, and you can't minister to yourself. Be with others, even if they don't believe. It's alright. And seriously.....Why so serious?

Till next time

Grace and Blessings

Richie Tha Rapper

Tough Choices

Since I've been living here in Manhattan for the last several years, I've had this thought that I was going to be staying here for quite some time. However, I have the thought that it might not be. This summer has been showing to be very boring for me. I'm not getting anything done, I hardly ever have someone who can, at any moment, want to hang out with me, and I'm feeling more isolated now then I did when I first got here. I'm not growing as much as I'd like to be socially, spiritually, or mentally. There is not a ton of opportunities for me here, for either a job or to grow with my music. Hip Hop is not a very huge deal out here. And there aren't very many artist or producers out here that I know.

The other night I was talking with a friend and sister in Christ about maybe moving down to Wichita. From what I understand there is always something going on down there and it would give me a greater chance to get known, meet new people, make great connections and friends. Plus I have family down there. Actual biological family. Now this all sounds grand and hunky dory, but there are two things that are keeping from instantly saying "Yes, I'm moving down there ASAP." 1) This has been home for me for the last 5 years. Even though I've moved around town a few times, this is still a place that's been stable, and 2) I've made so many friends here that, even though I don't hang out with them all of the time, it would be difficult for me to grow a custom to knowing that I'd be away from them. I didn't grow up having a lot of friends. So the ones that I have now are very close to heart. I know leaving here would have some form of impact on me.

So I'm going to be praying about this choice. Really, really hard. I'm going to need a ton of prayer from others as well. This may just be the biggest choice I've made in years. I know either way I'm going to have to step out on faith, I just want to make sure I don't rush anything and make a decision God didn't put on my heart.

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper.

Conversing with God...

Sometimes conversing with God can be just a regular, ordinary thing. Where nothing to extreme or out of the norm happens. Then there are times when you have conversations with God when He talks to you and your mind gets absolutely blown. For me, last night was one of those convos.

I sometimes like to picture having a conversation with God as if he was Morgan Freeman (Bruce and Evan Almighty references, come on guys, don't get it twisted). Last night there was a lot of stuff on my mind. I don't remember off the top of my head every part of the conversation, but I do remember the very last part. I was talking to God about the desires of my heart. How I would like to live to see a nice age here on Earth. Do work for Him and enjoy the time that I have here. I heard Him ask me what His word has to say about that. He said I have a passage that He wanted me to read. So I randomly opened my bible. The passage wasn't were I thought it would be. I thought it was going to be something in one of Paul's 13 letters, but no. It was in Pslams.

The passage, Pslams 91: 14-16, says: "The Lord says, 'If you love me and truly know who I am, I will rescue you and keep you safe. When you are in trouble, call out to me. I will answer and be there to protect and honor you. You will live a long life and see my saving power.'"

I don't know about you, but not only was my mind blown by this passage, but I was also given rest and challenged by this. The Holy Spirit was with me last night. That much I know.

I was given rest to know that the more and more I dug in to learn more of God, the more I know that this will come to be. I was also challenged as well. To dig deeper to know who God is. To read His word, to not be lazy, I also am figuring out that I will be protected. That said I will enjoy what blessings of freedoms God grants me, but I will smart and as safe as possible about what I do. I may go to parties every now and then, but I won't drink. I'll go to get to know people. Make friends, enjoy others company, so on and so forth. I am learning to really prioritize.

I know God has a wonderful plan for me. What it is exactly, I don't know. I will take each day and blessing as they come. If a day is going to be busy, I will be thankful. If it's one of those "meh" days, I'll be thankful for that. I know I will fall from time to time, but I will call upon Christ to rescue me. I will continue to build my faith in Him even when I am lacking. I will fight against sin, but will not abandon emotion. I think it is perfectly acceptable to be angry sometimes, or sad, so long as it doesn't cause you to sin. If you're having an off day and you get frustrated, then be frustrated, but keep the Lord in mind and be slow to speak or anger. Don't let it cause you to fall. If you fall, acknowledge it, go to the Lord in prayer. He will forgive. He is slow to anger. I'm pretty sure He understands that we can't be perfect and not sin 100% of the time. As long as we go to him and talk with Him he will give us that forgiveness and peace mentioned all throughout the Old and New Testament. So, live your life, keep God in your heart, enjoy what He has given you right now, and keep talking with Him. Conversing with God can sometimes lead to your mind being blown.

Till next time

Richie Tha Rapper.

I Challenge Myself To...

So...I have decided that I'm going to challenge myself. I have realized over this summer that I am being lazy, and I don't like it. I have been complaining and not doing anything about it. I keep wondering why I feel like crap 80% of the time, well I'm going to get off my bum and do something bout this. Here's me revisiting my goals I set at the beginning of the summer and revising them.

#1: Get out of the house everyday for 2 hours, bare minimum. The more and more I keep staying at my house the less reasons I have to justify why nobody wants to hang out with me. I'm going to get out and go do something, even if I have to walk in the heat or rain for 2 hours I'm going to do it. I'm getting tired of thinking I don't have anything to do. It's crazy. It doesn't help my mental state. I keep getting millions of thoughts poured into my head, it's almost driving me crazy. Got to go look around for work. Go meet people. Etc.

#2: Not being on the internet as much. Sure I'll get on it to check my email and update on here, but I'm going to try and keep my Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ usage to notification checking and responding only. Work at it and then try to fast from total internet minus email and blogger usage for a while. Get it built up.

#3: Pray and get back into the Word of God. Right after I get done with this post, thats exactly what I'm going to do until I fall asleep. Going to pray for God to show me hints and previews of prayers and concerns that are on my mind. Read a little bit and then fall asleep ready to get at it tomorrow.

#4: Exercise. A lot. Go jogging/running. Walk all the way around town, weights, swimming, something to keep my blood going, my mind cleared, and the physical aspects of it to. I can't lie, I want a cut 6 pack, pecs, biceps and triceps. No lie. I know it'll be a while before I get there, but I want to give it a shot. I also am going to start changing my diet as best as I can for what food I have and can afford. Ate some southern greens the other day that tasted horrible, but I'm going to give them a shot and see if I can get the acquired taste for them.

#5: Get on a better sleep schedule. I wrote this blog at 2:30 in the morning my time. I get enough sleep, its the time in which I go to bed/fall asleep that kills me. It's got to stop and get better. Going to start working my way to bed no later than midnight. Tomorrow I may not be able to begin that because I may just be going to see the Harry Potter midnight showing, but whatever.

Finally #6: God has been showing me Romans 15: 1-7 a lot lately, which talks about servitude. Something that I do, but not a lot of. I have offered to do babysitting for a friend of mine, I would go volunteer at the Boys and Girls Club, the Animal Shelter, helping people in town somehow. I can't really give money because thats something I don't have, and I don't really have anything possession wise that would be of much value or help to someone in need, but I do have enough time that I can give that.

With all of this though I will need some help. I'm going to need accountability. So, if you read this and we're friends. Please help me out with this. I think this will do me good.

I think that if I can obtain these goals from now till the end of the year, some things will begin to be revealed to me in due time. So I'm going to be working my butt off and trying my best to accomplish these goals.

So with that said I only got two words..........CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!!

Till next time

Richie The Rapper

Geek? Or Nerd? Escaping Reality, Is It Ok?

Who remembers this symbol? Anybody? Anyone remember the Power Rangers? Yeah, I know I do. I've recently discovered that they all seasons up to the current season is fully available for instant watch on Netflix. Needless to say, I've been watching as much of the seasons as possible. Yet there are a few things though...I had a very casual debate with a friend of mine, yet this got me thinking: "What is the difference between a geek and a nerd?"

What would I consider myself? A geek or a nerd? And I'll be honest, for as much as I love rap & hip-hop (emphasize on the word 'love') I do love my Star Wars, CoD, Power Rangers, and meme's. So...does that make me a nerd? Or a geek? Which one would be worse to be? LOL This sounds horrible, but I am really trying to figure that out.

Joking aside though, there is one thing about my friend and I's conversation/debate that did catch my attention. We were talking about the differences between the two. She said that I was a geek for liking shows like the ones mentioned above. Here's what really caught my attention though...She said they are ways to escape your reality. So why am I bringing this up? Well...today I watched way more Power Rangers then any man my age should watch in one sitting....EVER!!! I got home from church this afternoon, ate lunch, and then just watched Power Rangers, all afternoon. I just finished my last episode for the night. I had got to thinking a few minutes ago about my post from 2 days ago. It took me a day to realize that my decision to watch that much of the show was not a good one.

Here's why I think it was a bad idea. I haven't been myself lately. My mind is always moving at 300 mph in 50 directions (yea thats possible. Don't ask me the physics behind it), and so watching a show on a constant level that is completely fantasy is not healthy for the mind. It leaves you unfocused. It has you questioning yourself. Questioning things around you. Plus, it might get you thinking you have some sort of "Power" that you really don't have. The shows are so fake, but they throw in what people like.

Another thrown in detail, is that Power Rangers was the show back in the 90's, and now that it's on Netflix, that's like taking a direct stroll right down memory lane. Not that it's a bad thing. Sometimes it's good to find something that returns you to good memories. That can be a blessing. However...the amount of time you spend at the corner of Memory Ln and Reality St can have some negative effects if spent at that intersection for a lengthy period of time. I know one show that I remember when I was young thats on Netflix that got MAJOR slept on: "BeetleBorgs." That was one of the most legit shows back in the mid 90's yet most slept on. So I took some time to go through that show and after watching it for a while, I realized that I was getting to far into the show.

So, with that said, would it be safe to say that this could be a possible idol for me? Maybe. Maybe not. However, that brings a few questions that I have for you, reader. My first question, which you don't have to answer out loud, but I do ask that you think to yourself. What do you have in your life that takes up most or all of your time? It doesn't have to be a spiritual answer, but I do want you to think about that and try to get mind organized and prioritized.

My second question, which also doesn't have to be answered out loud, but is escaping reality okay? At all? A little bit? Not at all? What do you think? I think it's ok every once and a while, as long as it's done in moderation and not doing any damage to your body. Either Physical, mental, or spiritual. Some things to me shouldn't be done to escape reality, but now isn't the time for me to say all that. I just want to leave you with the question.

Till next time.

Richie The Rapper.

How To Handle Rejection

So I've learned over the years, just as everyone has, that somewhere along the road, somehow someway, you're going to get rejected for something or from someone. If it's from a girl or guy you like saying "No", or a business deal, from a piece of art (any kind of art), to a job, etc. The list goes on and on. Today, I got a rough draft beat done and asked for an opinion and advice from a friend of mine down in Florida. He listened to it, said (I think) jokingly that it sounded like it came from "The Legend of Zelda" from the 80's and told me that it didn't go well together. I was hoping that maybe he would suggest a different sound style that could go with what I had in mind for this or something, but to my surprise he simply said scrap it.

He did say that it was just his opinion though. I didn't get angry or anything, but I was disappointed. I do admit that I had only worked on it for less than 24 hours, but I gave up trying to do anything this afternoon to work on it. Needless to say when I read the word "scrap" I was devastated. Over the last few hours I've noticed how much negative damage that a form of rejection can do. I started eating a ton of sunflower seeds in a row. I started feeling the effects of the salt I was taking in. So I decided to go for a jog. It was nice and it helped, but the thought that I might not have gotten any further with my skill in beat making saddened me. What confused me was I had received an email last night from another friend of mine in KC who told me how much I've been improving. The sad thing about this is, I didn't remember the email until I got to this paragraph.

I've also been feeling the pressures of rejection from other sources as well. I tried getting a job at Wendy's. Just so I could have a job. Something to keep me from being bored out of my skull and to help me get a bit of money in my pocket. I tried calling them several times and they told me to try again the next day or whatever. Then finally I called and they told me, because of my past work experience, I was a poor hire, after I had my first interview with them 3 weeks prior and a very brief interview the day before with the Store Manager, I was told that I could reapply in 3 months. (Sorry, if it sounds like I'm slightly venting during this part, I am). I was a tid bit upset...ok thats an understatement. I was pissed. I was finally at a breaking point where I might just have a job lined up and next thing I know...nope. Pray for me y'all. I really need a job. Soon.

Now I'm going to talk about the type of rejection almost all people my age (teenagers mostly) go through all the time. Rejection from a relationship. We all go through it. I've gone through it. You've probably gone through it. Your parents probably went through it at some point. It's tough. I know I've learned several things over the last few years. Communication is key to anything. I know for some of us, like me, saying anything in the form of "I like you" can be really gutsy. Sometimes it's needed. Now trust me when I say this, by NO means am I any kinda relationship guru, so don't read this part thinking I've got the answers to your relationship problems. I won't lie, some people tend to think that I am and come to me with problems in their relationships. I do the best that I can and give you my most thought out answer, but don't take my word 100% for it. More or less, I've never actually been in a dating relationship myself. Again, that's a more or less statement.

To save some time, I'll get into that part some other time. For right now though, based off of what I've learned and experienced, I'll give you a few ways to help ease the usual harshness that comes with rejection.

#1: Move on...QUICKLY! Don't get yourself wrapped all up in the thing or person you got rejected from. If you keep that in your mind for a long time, not only will it keep hurting you, but it might just end up hurting others as well. I've had several cases in the past where I kept my mind thinking on something or someone I got rejected from and ended up doing very, very stupid things because of it. I've lost friendships, I've come very very close to losing very valued friendships. I can tell you in advance, you'll save yourself a ton of pain if you just quickly acknowledge the rejection, take a moment to realize it, breathe, then just get your mind focused on something else.

#2: Recognize patterns. If you keep getting rejected by girls or guys with similar personalities, then maybe you shouldn't be looking for someone with that type of personality. Try looking for someone different, even if you REALLY have to step out of your comfort zone to do it. Who knows, it might just work for you. Same with the things you want to do. For me with music, I know I am my own worst critic, but I have started thinking about ways that I can start making my beats better. If I get a rough draft finished, start thinking in a way a pro would think. This might sound contradictory, but start thinking critical and point out everything thats wrong with it. If there is a note or sound thats off with the rest of the beat then quickly point it out and fix it. If a song doesn't sound good at all, put it to the side and start something new. Come back to it later, etc.

#3: Talk to someone you trust. If you have prolonging negative feelings about the rejection you really do need to talk to someone about it. I know that's cliche, but it's true. Keeping what you're feeling about what happened can end in different bad ways depending on the situation. Look and pray for someone who has had similar experiences as you who's a bit older that you can get to know and trust. One of my greatest spiritual, mental, and life mentors is my bro Matthew "Matt Mic" Crawford. I know I can talk to this brother about ANYTHING in full confidence. Still am looking forward to actually meeting him in person, but I've been blessed and completely grateful for what God has done with his mentoring thus far. I could brag about how much this dude has helped me in the last year or so, but I'm sure you'll read and hear plenty of that in the months to come. (BTW...here in October. HE'S GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!)

#4: Being around things that remind you of the situation is a huge no no. At least, not if you haven't been able to move on from the situation just yet. There are certain songs that I use to listen to all of the time, because I felt like I related to them during the times I was stuck in the thoughts of rejection. Songs like "Apologize" by One Republic and "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence are just two songs off the top of my head that I would just play over and over and over again during those times. Now that I've moved on from those times I still play them, but they don't have the same effects.

#5: Stay in reality. I know there are tons of ways out there that you can use to try and escape the pain and let down you are feeling. I know this is much easier said than done, believe me, but if you keep finding ways to try and alter what you perceive as reality, you will end up worse than how you initially felt. You could end up with scars on the outside and inside of your body. You could end up mentally insane. You could kill yourself. You could hurt or even end up killing someone else. All over being rejected. It's not worth it. I've come danger close to going crazy, but I'm so glad that I didn't.

#6: Go out and do something. With others if possible. Go for a walk/jog, go hang out with a friend or two. Read a book. Keep your mind engaged in something. Don't do nothing. Doing nothing will let the thought creep right back in and bring you right back where you don't want to be.

#7: Be real with yourself. They say acknowledgment is the first step to recovery, no matter how extreme it may be. You might have to do some soul searching to figure out where the negative feelings are coming from and then tell yourself that it's there and say to yourself that it doesn't matter, you are better than what you are feeling. It works! Trust me on that one.

Finally and most importantly #8: Say a prayer. Even if you don't believe in God. Give it a shot. Ask for someone to be brought to you that can help you get through the stage your in and help you to move on. I know there are times where I really doubt God, but I've had a person come into my life at the moment I needed someone. It helped me out a lot and after a bit strengthened my faith and relationship with Christ. God works wonders, even if you don't realize it. You know the saying "Pain is only temporary"? That's biblical! So try not to worry about it. If you can do these things, you'll get over whatever kinda rejection comes your way very quickly.

Hope everyone in America had a wonderful 4th of July and was safe. For everyone else in the world, hoping and praying that you are well!

Till next time, grace and blessings

Richie Tha Rapper.

Don't Worry...

BE HAPPY! You all remember Billy Bass? The fish that would chill up at the dentist or your dads office? You all know the famous tune he sings. "Don't Worry, Be Happy." Last night....I really wish I had a Billy Bass in my room singing that.

I tried going to bed at a decent time last night, round 1:30, and out of the blue all of my thoughts that I normally have when I go to sleep hit in full swing last night. Mostly about the rapture. You want to know what happened? I woke up like I was in a nightmare. My heart was racing. I couldn't catch my breath for a few seconds and my vision felt strange. It was a very confusing and scary moment.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to going home, being reunited with God. However, there are some things here on Earth I truly do want to experience first. Things that aren't necessarily sins, but things that I'm pretty sure we won't get to experience in Heaven. I want to be a husband and a father someday. I have my doubts as to saying that when I go home that won't happen. I'm pretty sure sex isn't allowed in Heaven, even if it's in holy matrimony. I want to continue honing my skill and gift with hip hop. I have doubts that there will be synths and bangin bass in heaven as well.

For who I am and how I think, I'm going to just go a head and say that I'm an "Out The Box" Christian. I still love everyone who is in the box thinking (and lets be honest, there are LOTS of people who think in the box), but the way I've been seeing things and how my minds been working for me to simply say "God is good, He's coming back soon, solely say that I am unworthy of His love, and be His slave" isn't exactly my idea of what a Christian should look like. My thoughts go deeper than that. I may be unworthy of God's love, but if what I read in the Bible (John 3:16) is true, saying that Jesus was sent to atone for our sins as a perfect man, a perfect man who is God in the flesh, who died and rose again, I'm pretty sure somewhere along the line God may have had the thought of "Maybe if my children truly love me, then they may be worthy of my love." Or something like that. I get tired of people saying that in order to know God you have to do such and such. Though some of it is true, thats not all of it. Yes pray to Christ, but you don't have to do it by kneeling with your hands folded and your head bowed (though it's a great sign of respect), you can be where you are and talk to him like you would a friend or family member. You can even just think. He knows your thoughts anyways.

Going back to the topic of this blog, I know there are people who may read this and try to justify why I'm going through this right now. They may say that it's just a season. They may say that my way of thinking is causing me to go through this. They might say that I'm crazy. They might try to explain that Satan is deceiving me. The list goes on. If any of those are true and I'm not paying attention than I pray that God shows me that and I may be humble to receive it. But I really don't think thats it at all. I have a really good feeling that this is a time God is building me up. A time where my faith will be tested (not mega life or death hardcore testing, but a test) and where my future will really start to shape.

My prayer that I leave you with today is that not everyone is made to think "In the Box." God gave us our own minds. He gave us free will. I'm not saying have faith and do whatever in the world you want to do. No not at all, but if your a Christian going through some of these same feelings, pray for someone to be brought into your life that will help you. Be creative with the gifts God has given you. Be the original masterpiece God created you to be. Thats what I'm trying to do. Thats what my first album will be all about. If you're not a Christian, hey thats totally fine. You know just as well as I do the struggles of this world. I'm not here to convert you to Christ. Thats not my job. I could be a plant seeder or a waterier. My prayer is that if you are curious to know who this Jesus Christ that I speak of is that you will keep an open mind and open heart to the people you encounter who claim to be His. I understand why a lot of people don't want to be Christians. I'm not ashamed to call on Jesus name (Romans 1:16) but I am ashamed at some of the ways His name has been used. But thats for a different blog post. For now I just pray peace and blessings upon those who read this. That someone has gained something positive from this and that you be a blessing, wither you know it or not.

If you want to get a hold of me you can reach me at

Facebook: www.facebook.com/Richie.Buzz

Twitter: twitter.com/richie116

Email: gmail.com/richieycr

Till next time.

Peace and blessings

Richie Tha Rapper.

My First Blog From Myspace

This post isn't very relative for where I am today, but there still are parts that are. I'm posting this just to show where I started blogging at lol. Give it a read let me know what you think (I'm just going to post the url to it so you can see the whole blog.)

http://www.myspace.com/richieycr/blog/536956702

Be blessed.

Richie Tha Rapper.

Feelin...Stuck?

This weekend I did nothing...at all. I stayed home and did nothing except mess around on my computer. I went to church, but that was about it. I was bored for practically 3 days straight. I didn't get to sleep on Saturday morning until 6 and woke up at 2 in the afternoon. Watched some Star Wars movies and next thing I know its midnight. Got to sleep at 3 or 4 that morning and barely woke up in time for church.

Today I thought it was going to be the same. But nope, thanks to a call from a friend, her, me, and 6 other people went and did whats known as geocaching. It was interesting to say the least. It was dark, there was a thunderstorm just east of town, and it had rained a few hours prior, but it was so much fun.

Can't lie, at first I was nervous. Not because of what we were doing, but because of the storm. It seemed really really close to us. But after a while, I was just like "You know what? This is pretty darn awesome." and I just went with it. We only found 1 box. The very first one. Everything else was just difficult.

The end of our adventure tonight was interesting. We were out on a country road looking for one of the boxes, and this lady passes by, circles around, and stops to see what we are doing. We tell her what we're doing and she gets all suspicious. I kinda laughed inside honestly, but it's ok.

The basic point to this quick blog (Which I notice I tend to make them very short) is that if you're stuck in your house with nothing to do, pray for God to give you an opportunity to get out and hang with people you know. It does great wonders.

Sorry if this seems like a vague blog, kinda sleepy, but I'll be back with a new blog tomorrow or Wednesday. Be blessed all!

Richie

"I Do Believe A Congrats Is In Order!"

Wanted to do a quick blog to just say "Congradulations" to Matt Crawford and Kasey Brewer, as they are now engaged! I am really happy for you two and I hope and pray many many blessings and wonderful years for you two. Seriously. lol. I'll see if I can talk to Sho Baraka and J.R. and see if they'd be willing to play "We Can Be More" at your wedding...I think that would be well deserved.

Anyways. Just wanted to make this one kinda brief in just giving a semi-formal congrats through the interwebs. I'll leave you guys alone for now and let you enjoy this moment by yourselves that you rightly should. I'll still be up for a while so if you guys read this, give me a call whenever and I'll try and pick up if I'm not passed out.

Richie Tha Rapper

Godz Chisel'd Masterpiece (The topics)

No pic for this one. Just wanted to talk about a few of the items that I will be rapping about in my debut album.

The entire theme and concept to this album is to take you through a story and a journey through where I've gone, what I've done, and who has been there along the way. To tell you about what God is doing through me. He is the Grand artist of my life. I am his masterpiece. Yet I still need chiseled. I still need the things that aren't of God removed. There will be many metaphors, imagery, play on words, real stories, and even 3rd and 1st person narratives. I will sound rebellious at times. But there are reasons why. Here is a list of some topics that I will be talking about:

#1) Tithing. I have been blessed by so many people, yet I have found myself not giving back as much as I should or need to. I don't have a lot, at least possession's wise, but I have time. I have knowledge and, yes, even some wisdom that I can give back. I still have to get myself figured out with finances, but once I get that (and a steady job) in order, I will be able to actually give the 10% to the church. Not because I have to, but I'm learning the more that I give, the more God will bless me. I'm going to have an entire song dedicated to this. Going to be called "10%" Keep an ear out for it!

#2) Thoughts and Emotions. Lately, I've been feeling some of the small pressures of adulthood. The stress of finding a job to get money. Having a place to live. Food to eat. Place to rest my head. I'm very thankful that God has given me people who are willing to help with something at a moments notice. But with that, I've also been feeling some of the pressures that come with faith. Doubt, direction, God's plan for me, as well as what my own thoughts are about God. I've also noticed that a lot of people do not feel God at all in their lives. That is what my song "Only God" will be focusing on. To let people know exactly what the hook says: "Who can see whats on your mind? Making you defined? Only God, and who can see whats on your heart? Whats tearing you apart? Only God." I will be taking my own feelings, mixed with what seems to be general feelings about where God is in our lives.

#3) Relationships. I'm single. I kinda hate it to be honest, and I've been contemplating if I feel I'm even near ready to even try a relationship right now. Part of me feels ready, and part of me don't. I don't know. But I do know that deep down in my heart I don't want to die without having that very "Special Someone" in my life. I've got a song that I'm in the process of writing to that (I'm hoping) will have two very great spiritual and lyrical brothers on it (Matt Mic and PoRich Tha Kid) and let them have their view with where they are at with being in a relationship to marriage and children.

#4) Family. Biological. Spiritual. Friends. You name it. What a family is and who makes it up. I know people, believers and non-believers alike, who I call family because of what they have done for me and what I have done for them. I have biological family that I do view as family. And I have some biological family members that I don't see as family.

#5) Being the Body of Christ in the World. I learned over the last school year through KSU's Cats For Christ of just how important this is. I want to talk about how we as Christians have and have not been being Christ-like. And yes, I will call groups and individuals out. Myself included. So be ready for that one.

#6) Foster Care. I lived a majority of my life in it. But this one won't be about me. I will be using other peoples stories. The struggles with it. The emotions. The reality of it. But also where the individuals see themselves going. Special S/O to my man Anthony Lewis with whom I am buying the beat for the song from. Go check that brother out at caje.bandcamp.com. Dude's beats are sick as well as his flow.

Final one that I'll give out for now #7) Chasing God's heart and will. I'm slowly learning where God wants me to be. I know I still got a ways to go. I'm in the production process for that track right now, but that's defiantly something I want to talk about.

I'll let you guys know more when I have it figured out.

Richie Tha Rapper.

A Story Of A Divine Appointment

I wanted to tell a story of a true divine intervention that happened recently. You may ask "Is this person you?" Well, maybe, maybe not. I won't tell. The thing is it isn't about the person in the story. It's about what God did for him.

So this guy (for this story we'll call him...Tom) woke up on Sunday at the earliest he had waken up in months. He actually woke up in time for church. He hadn't been in about 4 months, so he was really pumped and ready to go. He had call his friend for a ride. He had to wait like 2 hours for a ride, because 0f worship practice. When they had finally started service it had gone pretty well. However Tom started feeling fidgety during worship and the sermon. He started having strange, but familiar feelings. He began to feel unreal, a very out of body experience. At the end of the sermon, Tom's pastor begun telling a story of what was going on in his family. The core of the story was telling about how keeeping sin buried deep down will eventually come out. As well as the fact that Christ already knew what was buried.

That story stuck in Tom's head all afternoon, and well into the evening that day. That evening, Tom went back to the church for some time of worship and prayer for healing. That feeling that he had during church returned during this time, then a thought and revelation came to him. God used his pastors story to speak directly to him. Then it hit him. He begun to feel horrible. he had a sin deep down that he had knew people would be hurt when it came out in the open, but he couldn't keep it in any longer. He had lied to people who cared about him about his schooling. He had done horrible in his first year at school. He started with calling his Great-Grandmother, the person who had raised him. More importantly, who had raised him to be better than this.

I don't want to disappoint anybody he though I'll be fine, I'll be able to make it through all of this. Oh how wrong he was. The lies kept building and kept spreading to others. He called his Great-Grandmother and told her about it. She was upset, but not as much as he thought she'd be. He felt so much better after he got off the phone with her. He went back inside and sat back down and listened to the worship. Afterwards, there were several people who were speaking out what God had put on their hearts. Most of which were exactly what Tom needed to hear. He finally had the courage to speak up and tell everyone there what was going on. He couldn't hold his head up to look at people to say it, but to them that didn't matter. He was holding himself accountable. He was humbling himself. He left that night feeling much better than when he got there. He still needs to tell others in his biological and spiritual family about this, and He will soon, but for right now he is going to take some rest and regain his strength, because he is extremely tired.

Richie Tha Rapper.

How to have...

Here in America right now, this topic is nothing short of appropriate. With the devastating storms that have been ravishing through the country, there are uncertainties, doubts, and very negative emotions running through many peoples minds these days. People are having anxiety attacks because of the violent tornado's that have been affecting many.

I am sure that there are many in places such as Joplin, Missouri right now that are shaking their fists at God for what has happened to them with the destruction of their home, the death of someone they know, or just because of the destructive tornado that ripped through their hometown.

Now this is nothing new though, these types of storms have hit like this before, but we aren't use to them affecting so many people. Some might say that this is the beginning of God's "Judgement." Na, I don't think so. I think this is just another tribulation that we will have to go through that will test our faith. For some of us, these storms could be used to renew and refresh our faith. For some, this could be a divine appointment for people to know Christ as their Savior. The sad thing is though...for some, wither they have already passed or not because of the storms, will not come to Christ. Thats just the harsh reality.

But I know for me, that I don't want to be scared of these storms (I want to be smart about them though, don't get that confused). I want to be able to be strong when I hear that a storm is coming my way. To know that there will be peace in it. To have courage. Not prideful courage, no, I want to have that blessed courage, that divine courage. The courage to know that though this storm can be dangerous and I will nervous and even scared, but I will know that Christ is there and that His hand will guide me through.

Now, this doesn't mean just Thunderstorms/Tornado's and other bad weather (though that could be a part of it), but with the storms of life. I have gone through bad things in my life, bad storms if you will. I have lost my family in all but death, moved more than any kid ever should, I know what it's truly like to be without friends, the list goes on. Yet, even when I hadn't accepted Christ into my life, I still knew in my mind that God had me go through it for a bigger reason than I could ever understand. The storm of my future will be like that of Kansas weather...ever present and completely unpredictable. However I shall keep my heart to Christ. I will live in the everyday and take each blessing as they come. I want to be used as a light to help show and guide others that these storms are only temporary. That there will be sunshine and a rainbow after the clouds pass.

That's all for now. I hope everyone is safe. My prayers and thoughts go out to all that have been affected by tornado's in the past few weeks. Know that God loves you and that there is a purpose in everything that He does. Be quick to listen and slow to anger. Be in prayer. Be thankful for what He has given and what he has taken.

Richie Tha Rapper.

More Than A Foster Child

So this has been on my heart lately. I'm planning on doing a track strictly dedicated to foster care. Using real stories of real foster youth who, like me, have gone through the system and everything that happens with it. The emotions, the pains, being let down, you name it.

I've already got a beat for it and am currently writing to it. But I need help: If you are reading this and have been through the foster care system for any length of time and want to tell your story I want to know it. I promise that I won't use your name if you don't want me to. Just send me an email to richieycr@gmail.com telling however much you want. I'm really looking for stories that have this in them. 1) your thoughts and feelings that you have or are currently going through, 2) what got you into foster care, and 3) what your thoughts and feelings are about your future and where your going.

I don't have any intention of making this song "religious," I really want to put this topic out there. Let people understand what us youth have gone through in the system. Please I really am requiring help on this one. I don't plan on using my own story for this one, cuz I'll use my story in almost every other song. So help a brother out!

Richie Tha Rapper

5 Simple Ways I Plan To Not Be On The Computer This Summer...

Ok so forgive the long title for this one, but I have come to the conclusion, and I acknowledge, that I have a problem. I am addicted to my computer.

Now don't get it twisted, its not the extreme computer addiction. I battle some of those extremes, but for the most part they pretty much kicked to the curb. What I'm talking about is not even just the internet (which is a big part) but also with some games that I have on my computer, my music software, and Skype. Among many others of course. I have also figured out, through obvious observation, that this problem consist mainly during the late night hours when I should be sleeping.

So what I will be doing is determining 5 simple ways to become less addicted to my nice Lenovo computer and actually be a human and interact with others. Especially since summer is coming up really fast, this will be a really good thing to start practicing.

#1: GET OUT! I've been having a ton on my mind as of late. For who I am and being locked up in my room (and now that my roommate has left for home) by myself this equation can pretty much sum up to = not having a good outcome in the long run. I am in the process of Job searching. I am looking for a place to stay over the summer here in Manhattan. So if you readin this and lookin for the same hit me up.

#2: Read the Word! I have been lacking in getting into God's Word. I think that's been a big reason why I haven't been able to get to sleep at a decent time. I've been finding myself looking for comfort in computers. I think it's been why my mind hasn't been at ease as of late. I think the more I get into the Word the more the next 3 steps (and Step 1 to actually) will be able to take a domino effect.

#3: Fasting! Well...now that I think about this...This should probably be #1, but whatever. But yea, start a fast with technology. Maybe not necessarily with my entire computer (I do need to check emails occasionally). Start off with fasting from Facebook or something similar for a short amount of time to see how I do and go from there. Maybe fast from listening to music. Fast from using my music software (and my actually keyboard). Fast from FreeCell...Yea I play that. You get where I'm going with this.

#4: Exercise. Yea this should kinda be considered naturally. Throw how much time I spend on my computer and how much time I spend working out on a scale and guess which will tip upwards. Now that the weather is really getting nicer, working out might just be one of the best things I can do (when I'm not working after I find a job). It'll help clear my mind. Keep me focused. Etc.

and finally #5: Pray. If I get to a point where I seriously don't know what else to do but get on my computer to sit stumped for 3+ hours on what to do then I really think I just need to stop and pray. Ask for God to show me something to do. Whatever that may be.

Well I know this is kind of a short and to the point post, but seeing as it's 3 in the morning and my brain is near shut down stage for the night, I'm going to end on this note. Good luck to all the college students who will be taking finals this week. I know I got like 2 that I still need to study for a bit. So guys and gals just remember...relax. breath. If you mess up on an exam don't go into instant paranoia. Trust me on this it won't be the end of the world. If any of you who read this are college students and are about to literally flip out because of finals and want to just vent or whatever feel free to comment on this post. I'll read it and see what I can do. I know there's a lot of pressure that comes with this. Just know. It's not worth going through complete mental anguish over.

Richie Tha Rapper

Sleepy Thoughts?

Whew! So many thoughts. So little time to really think about em.

One flaw I have that I really wish I could do without is my ability (or lack of) to sleep well, at a decent time and quickly. One thing about me is that I think...a lot. Probably way more than anyone ever should. Kinda scary sometimes, really. Sometimes I'll be thinking about things that no other 19 year old would ever have cross their mind. It almost becomes an unwanted obsession. One that I'm fighting to get over.

I wanted to take a post to share just some of the things that I think about when I go to bed at night, and why I think I think really deeply about it.

A major concept that I think about a lot is being called to Heaven. Either by "Rapture" or physical body death. I don't really understand why that thought comes to mind all the time. I don't know when my time to go will be. I want to say that I'm fully ready to go, but at the moment, I'm not. Not saying that I don't want to go to heaven, thats not what I'm saying at all. I really feel that God has had me go through everything that I've gone through in my past to mold me for His use in the future. I know that I am in a place right now where I still have A LOT of learning to do myself. I really think that God wants me to use rap & hip hop for His glory. I really think that He is working on me right now so I may have a good album for "Godz Chisel'd Masterpiece."

Another thing I think about, which in this case is actually kinda normal, is trying to figure out Gods plans for me. I really think that it'll have something to do with Rap/Hip-Hop and with the whole child welfare services arena. Right now I don't fully know, but I'm working to humble myself so that way I may truly know. For all I know it may not mean me being a rapper or a Social worker. I don't know. But I really feel like both of the area's I mentioned will be heavily involved.

I know this is going to sound cheesy and I'm sure someone will probably laugh to themselves a little for this one, but I do think about women. I know you may read that and go: "Richie...that's a really broad topic to be thinking about." Well your right, so let me explain myself. In this day and age almost everyone is either in or really wanting to be in a relationship with someone. I admit that I get that way myself. A lot more than I'd care to acknowledge, but I do. With that comes just a lot of the basic things such as what do I think of the ladies that I might like that are in my life. Dating? Battling the thoughts of lust. Do they like me? Am I even mentally and spiritually ready to date a W.O.G.? Do I even want to date right now? Will it be a distraction? I battle with the thoughts of deserving. Part of me thinks that I do deserve someone right now, and then part of me thinks "eh maybe not right now." I get those thoughts because of my past. I think with this is a tribulation within itself. That it will build perseverance which builds strength which builds hope. I know God has someone out there for me. If she is here in Manhattan (even Kansas in general for that matter), another state, or even another country, I know God has someone out there waiting for me. Who knows. For all I know, if there is a woman of God out there who's heart is so in Jesus it might be good for me to look. It might help build my faith. I'll just have to wait and see.

One last thing that I think about is just my past in general. I have flashbacks to particular moments from my childhood. Even when I'm not in my room trying to sleep if I smell something that reminds me of a memory from my childhood I get an instant flashback. It's really weird yet cool that my brain can do that. But ya know...that's just a blessing from God.

I know this doesn't really go into huge detail about every little thought I have, but sometimes the things I think should just be kept between God and I (BTW, Correct grammar FTW lol). But with this I did have a small message. If you suffer insomnia as I do, don't worry about it. Philippians 4:6-7 (the verse I used in my last post) applies here. Read that and do as it says. God grants peace, even if may seem bad timed (like...3 am for instance) but rest assured that if you continue to fight your flesh and let God take control, things will begin to get easier. I know as I'm typing this I have thoughts that flash through my mind that I wish didn't, but I have to fight the anxiety of it. For if I don't I won't know the glory that God freely gives.

I'm going to stop for now, I'm actually starting to get tired now, but I'm sure I'll be back soon with another post. Till then Blessings and Grace

Richie Tha Rapper

Shock and Reflection

In light of what has transpired in the last day, I wanted to do a quick blog in personal reflection.

I want to start off by saying that by no means do I not love America. We are blessed to be in this country, and I take all of our freedoms humbly. However, and I don't want to make this a political blog, but America. I'm going to say this up front, explain, and then go on to say what I wanted to talk about with this blog. Then pass out for the night. I'm a say this upfront. STOP CELEBRATING OSAMA'S DEATH!!!!!! I say this out of love and concern. Think about it. When 9/11 happened and they showed the video feed of the middle east with the children throwing up "V's" they weren't aimed positively at us. With us pumping our fist in celebration about Osama's death what kinda message do you think that will send to those in the middle east? Just stop and come up with your own conclusions to that question. All I'm going to say is that it won't be good.

For anyone in the Middle East that happens to stumble upon this blog, please know that not all Americans/Christians are evil and bad willed. We're still trying to get it figured out to.

But enough about that. I said more than I wanted to with it. Tonight because of this, I started going in a panic mode. I had to stop, take a deep breath, and look for something God wanted to show me. And it wasn't were I was expecting. I tried at first with friends of mine online, but that wasn't where God wanted me to talk about it. Instead God had me run into a friend of mine from my building. We talked and God used his words to ease my body, mind, and soul. He gave me a couple of verses that were just so encouraging. Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (NIV)

These verses help me so much. I have always had a battle with worrying. Part of me thinks its genetic. Part of me thinks it's because of my past. But either way, I acknowledge that I have a struggle with worry. I have realized that I get kinda worldly in a lot of ways about things. I worry about really big stuff and really little stuff. Case extremes: big stuff-Leaving Earth to Heaven. Little stuff-what shirt am I going to wear today.

I think after tonight this battle will now be easier to fight through, if I stay in what Philippians says. Not to be anxious. I know that in order to do this, I can't do it alone. I feel that God wants me to start being with more people, both Christian and non (I'll explain why) alike. As for hanging with believers thats obvious, to learn, grow, and fellowship. For hanging with non-believers, well...isn't that what God has commanded us to do? To show His love to those who do not believe? Not only that, but is that not what Jesus did while He walked the Earth? So yea. Basically saying...I need to get out of this room. Lol.

But I'm going to go to bed and rest. I will need my strength. Again, I'm not anti-American and in some ways I am relieved to know that Osama's personal terror on earth has come to a close, but I do not celebrate in his demise. We are all humans and have fallen short of the glory of God because of sin. In a lot of ways, we are no better than Osama was. Read Proverbs 24:17 real talk. Thats all I'm sayin. Well good night and God bless.

Richie Tha Rapper